The Burning
by Xrizz
Summary: After a mysterious attack, Renesmee is left severely ill, and it's getting worse each day. Something is stronger than vampires and it may be the cause of her problems. But when worst comes to worst, it will be Jacob's turn to hold her together- literally.
1. Preface

The Burning.

_The light burns and sears my soul,  
__Taking what life still breathes in me,  
__And burning it,  
__Burning it!  
__Wrenching out what life I have. - Barbara Marjanovic_

**Preface.**

The lights flashed too quickly to count. It was like I was on a high speed train blazing down the subway tunnels; the only thing guiding my way were the lights. Black, white, black, white. One, two, three, four.

Absolutely nothing I had been through the past two weeks was as bad as this. Absolutely nothing. No amount of burning, no amount of pain could ever be compared to _this_. If I had wanted to die before, I wanted to die ten times over now. My heart disagreed, pounding too hard, too quickly in my chest to keep me alive. The heat surged through my veins like acid, eating away at me until there was nothing left; until my heart grew weaker and weaker…

But right before I took my last breath, there was a ripping feeling from within me. It didn't feel at all like a physical pain, nor was it emotional. It was like my identity… my _definition_ was being torn apart

There was one second before I blacked out, before all my senses were cut off, that I could hear everything. I heard from my mother, a strangled cry, from my father, a promise to kill whoever did this to his daughter, and from Jacob… From Jacob, I heard nothing at all.

Then it was dark.

Finally.

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Her heart stopped beating.

It almost seemed like they had changed their mind. Emmett, Alice, Jasper… all the people who said we should put her out of her misery were suddenly quiet as if they had never said a thing. Because once her heart gave out on her, we all stood on equal ground. No matter what we voted on, it didn't matter, because it brought justice to no one.

I stood still. We all did.

That string... those steel cables that held us together... they were tugged and pulled and burned and scratched, but they were not broken. Like talking through paper cups, I could still feel her heartbeat among those cables. Maybe it was aftershock.

Carlisle looked down. "That's all I can do."

I wanted to punch him. Hard. But I didn't, because I was busy staring at her, waiting for some sort of response. The one who at one point was so full of life, but now lay pale and still. The one who gave me a reason to live my life, and had hers taken away. But she wasn't dead. She wasn't gone. Because I could still feel the pull on those cables... that string. And it lifted my up, up, up into the air until my reality was far from theirs, and I knew for myself what was true.

She was still here. A stopped heart wouldn't tell me otherwise. Death was not an option. The room spun around me- no, spun around _her_, as she lay motionless. A few minutes, or so it felt, passed by.

"Please, open your eyes." Bella whispered. Edward placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Love, she's go-"

And then she opened her eyes. Her heart didn't beat, she didn't breathe.

At that moment, all I could think was, "Told you so."


	2. Stronger

**Okay, it's been a while. Sorry I kept you waiting. Ignore the spelling/grammar mistakes (however many there are). it's explained in the author's note at the end. Thanks for sticking with me.**

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**Renesmee's POV**

The cold air raced through my lungs. My legs were ready to give out on me- but _I_ wasn't. "Again."

"This probably isn't a good-"

"Please," I begged, "Last time, I promise."

"Fine. But if you pass out, I'm not liable."

"Deal." I managed to heave in one breath before before I heard the tiny beep, and broke out into a run. I kicked up dust beneath my feet, making my legs go faster until they were burning. It still wasn't enough.

"Hellen Keller could go faster!" Emmett barked, driving me to run even faster until I couldn't go anymore. The second beep went off and I skidded to a halt, nearly tripping and kissing the ground. I managed to keep my balance for all of a second before realizing I'd be better off on the ground anyway. I collapsed in on myself, breathing like this was the last chance I'd ever get. It felt like it.

Emmett laughed. Obviously it had been a while since he'd felt the need to breathe. He ranted for a good minute, bragging about something I didn't pay attention to. I couldn't hear him over the pounding of my heart. I felt like I was dying, and no doubt probably looked like it as well.

"I told you! I knew-" He stopped for a second and looked at the stopwatch in his hand. His face was similar to that of the time when my father openly admitted that he had respect for Madonna: Shock, desperation, loss, confusion, depression, betrayal, disgust, and about fifty other emotions- but most of all (the one I cherished), defeat.

"This can't be right." He said, eyes wide and shaking his head. He was in denial. "No!" Despite my body's desire to do otherwise, I sprang up immidiatley and peeked over his shoulder. Only three point four seconds- that was exactly one tenth of a second faster than Emmett's time.

"Ha!" I cried out. He grumbled something about revenge as he slipped the stopwatch back into his pocket and mumbled that this had been rigged. He did this whenever he lost a bet. I stopped to consider who might have been playing for money on this one. Probably Jacob.

I felt kind of bad for him. He'd already had my mother beat him in arm wrestling sixteen years ago. It was hard enough for him to admit defeat then- but now even his niece preceded him. At least he had the satisfaction of knowing that I would never in my life be stronger than him.

"Race you home?" I offered, already knowing the answer. He grinned and was gone.

**…**

There was one very useful upside to being part vampire: I didn't sweat. That was great for me, especially recently, with all this training. I would be sweating worse than a politian taking a lie detector test.

"Results." My father said, almost a demand. The mockery, the excitement in his voice was the only thing that made it sound otherwise. Everybody was gathered casually in the living room, some on the couch and some lounging on the floor. _Everybody_. So it hadn't just been one person betting, I assumed.

"Your daughter's a cheater." Emmett answered simply. I rolled my eyes and sighed. _'Let him deny it.' _I thought, _'His heart is broken.'_

"Pay up." Jacob said, beaming brighter than the headlights on Alice's Lamborghini Reventon- and that was bright. Emmett growled, reached into his back pocket and pulled out a fifty, handing it over reluctantly. Jacob in return handed him a small, folded piece of paper. Emmett unfolded it like it was literally hurting him. Inside was a message messily scrawled out, obviously in a hurry. It was Jake's writing. If he had taken the effort to actually write out something that long, it must have been important.

"Read it, big shot." Jacob reminded him. He looked at me and winked, smiling wider than before. Unable to control myself, I blushed like I'd been smacked a hundred times on the cheeks. My heart beat sped up a little bit. He probably heard that. I turned away and tried to concentrate on Emmett, who was for the first time I've ever heard, stuttering.

"I, Emmett C-Cullen- Is this really necessary!"

"Yes. Start again."

"I-I, Emmett Cullen… admit d-defeat, and therefore am obliged to do whatever is asked of me by… J-Jacob Black and/or anybody else who knew I would l-lose. And… on my own free… will, I will bow down b-before them and kiss all their shoes."

If he could, he would have been crying.

"Wow, Dog. I didn't know your vocabulary extended that far." Rosalie mocked.

"It doesn't. Alice helped me write it." Jake responded, not offended at all about her comment. He knew it was true. That was one thing about him I always admired- he didn't try to be something he wasn't; he wasn't ashamed of who he was. I wished I could say that about myself.

I always just wanted to be normal. I didn't care what kind. Maybe if I was a vampire, I wouldn't be so weak. Nobody would have to wait up for me or help me, and I wouldn't have to depend on anyone else. I wouldn't be a distraction or drag anyone down with me. I could actually fight if I had to, or be of help to someone else rather than the other way around. I just hated being so useless.

It didn't help that everybody tried to convince me otherwise. "What could I possibly be useful for?" I wanted to ask, "Name one thing I could do that would be of any importance to any of you?" Sure, I could breathe, my heart beat, I slept- which seemed to be the envy of most in the household for reasons unbeknownst to me- but what use did that bring to anyone? I was nothing if not an annoyance.

But another part of me wanted to be human. The vampire part always got in the way when it came to Jacob. He never commented on it- not even once- but it bothered me. I wouldn't doubt if it bothered him, too. The wolves and the vampires weren't supposed to be friends. I wasn't supposed to feel anything for him… but I did. And no matter how hard I tried to convince myself otherwise, that feeling just got stronger.

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**Wow, that took long enough. Sorry about the wait (even though barely anyone reads this anyway). I've been really busy lately... . Okay, I lied. Also, sorry about any spelling or grammar errors, my Word program, for some reason, stopped it's spell/grammar check function, and I can't put it back on. Also, this is generally just poorly written. Sorry. **

**BEFORE YOU GO! I promise you in the next chapter, things actually happen. I couldn't fit it in this chapter without it being overloaded, so bear with me. =]**


	3. Bittersweet

_**Jacob's POV**_

The snow crunched beneath our feet, leaving noticeable tracks. Renesmee was bundled up like being exposed to any type of low temperature would kill her. Her hood was pulled up and her scarf covered her nose, pretty much making her eyes the only visible feature. Her hands were buried in her pockets and she was sneezing frequently.

"Maybe you shouldn't train in weather like this," I commented. "You're getting sick."

She shook her head. Her voice was muffled by the scarf. "It's just a cold." She muttered.

I frowned. A cold or not, she was still sick. I mean, sure, it could have been worse, but the worst always starts badly, doesn't it? It might be a cold now, but next thing you know, she could have a serious case of phenomia. Maybe I was being a bit over dramatic, but I couldn't help it.

"I don't know how you're not cold right now. I mean, I get the high body temperature thing, but it's freezing out here." She shivered on cue. I slung my arm around her in hopes of helping the situation. Maybe I didn't, but it was a good excuse. She didn't seem to mind.

"I don't know. It cuts down costs, though. At least I don't have to buy winter coats or whatever. Well, only for show. But I'm always with you anyway, so I guess it doesn't matter."I realized I was rambling a little too late. Again, she didn't seem to mind.

She laughed. "You're telling me you wouldn't find this cold?" I was about to ask what she meant, but she quickly bent down, grabbed a snowball and hurled it at me. She giggled. I grinned and shook my head, a clear sign that she wasn't going to get away with this. Just as quickly, I bent down and grabbed some snow too, throwing it back at her with the same force. She laughed as the battle continued, her throwing perfect spheres my way quicker than I could throw crappy looking lumps at her.

I didn't know how she made such perfect snowballs so quickly. When I tried, they came out deformed. Partially because they were melting in my hands, but that was no excuse. So while I struggled making one, she already had two hurled at me.

"Cheater!" I called.

She stuck out her tongue, "Hardly. It's called skill!" She laughed and flung a few more at me. One of them landed on my face, soaking it and dripping onto my shirt, which was already wet from all the other snowballs.

"Thanks for the drink!" I shouted. She shouted back a 'you're welcome' and continued with the constant hits, not breaking once. During that time, I was busy spending my time making a huge one. She stopped for a second, curious why I wasn't throwing any back. I grinned. Her eyes widened in the second it came at her, and she quickly turned her head to avoid it hitting her face. It blinded her for a second none the less, time which I took advantage of.

I ran toward her, and just as she finished clearing her face, tackled her to the ground. She cried out in surprise but laughed when we were both down for the count. So did I.

"Are you cold yet?" She challenged.

"Not even close."

I'll admit- It was kind of surreal in that minute or two we were laying in the snow side by side, looking up at the sky as the snowflakes fell on us. A minute more and we'd be buried. Not that I minded. I glanced at her while the snow fell, flakes getting caught in her long eyelashes and gently being shaken of when she blinked. I realized then how close we were. My arm was wrapped around her and she had one arm over my chest, her body tilted toward mine, but her face turned toward the sky.

Nessie tilted her head toward mine. "You know, I-" She cut herself off.

We were so close, our noses were nearly touching. Our eyes locked for a second, and I couldn't seem to look away, transfixed in her stare. Suddenly, that movie cliché didn't seem so… cliché anymore. She drew in a little closer, biting her lip ever so slightly. I guess I must have moved in a little, too, because my nose was brushing the side of hers. I searched her eyes for any hint of doubt, waiting for a second for her to pull away, but she didn't.

Our lips brushed for a second. Her heartbeat spiked. Then she was more over me than beside me, and her mouth was on mine. I was taken by surprise, regardless of the fact that I shouldn't have been. My heart threatened to break right through my rib cage and run off with the warmth I was feeling right then. All my senses were cut off of anything that didn't involve her, and if I didn't know any better, I could have been lying on hot sand instead of cold snow. I couldn't see anything besides her, I couldn't hear anything but her heartbeat, and all I could smell was the warm lavender scent radiating off her skin.

When we finally came back to Earth and our eyes opened, she stared wide eyed at me with realization of what just happened. Then she looked away and stood up quickly. I followed her, wondering what just happened, if I did something wrong. I wouldn't doubt if I did. I always messed things up.

Her face was bright red with an expression I couldn't read. "I'm so sorry!" She blurted, burying her face inside the scarf she had wrapped around her neck loosely. It felt like a part in my chest went loose, and that there was now an empty space that shouldn't have been there.

"Wha- why… why are you sorry?" I trudged through the sentence, trying to find the right question to ask. What did I do? Are you okay? Oh god, I'm an idiot, aren't I?

She stared at me for a second, her cheeks pink and her eyes surprised, like she expected me to say something else. "I thought you… you…"

"You thought what?" I asked eagerly.

"I thought you didn't…"

It hit me then what she was trying to say. I could feel my face drop and one eyebrow raise in disbelief. "You thought I didn't like you?" I almost laughed.

She nodded slightly, standing awkwardly in front of me while twirling a strand of hair around her finger and repeating the process; something she always did when she was nervous or embarrassed.

I laughed and grabbed her in a bear hug. "You're crazy." I murmured against her soft, sweet smelling hair. Her only response was a sneeze. I noticed she was shivering a little too, despite her being wrapped up like a burrito. I would've offered to go back inside, but I knew that she would resist, so I held her even tighter against me. My thinking was body heat, but then I realized, being soaked through and through, that might take a while. I didn't mind. Even though she was physically cold, we were both feeling pretty damn warm.

We stood there for a while. I don't know how long it was, I lost track of time. And for some reason, the risk of Edward popping out from behind some tree was more probable now than ever. Then I thought, I guess we don't_ look_ that different, really, we just feel it. I'd hugged her plenty of times, and tight too. But that was when she was feeling down, when she was happy to see me, saying hi, birthdays, stuff like that- you know, when people normally hug. We'd never before stood here like this because we both understood something. And that felt pretty damn nice.

But time was cut short when some animal or something broke a twig or one of those useless objects that generally make noise when it's least wanted. I cleared my throat and noticed that it didn't feel as awkward as it should have.

I glanced down at Nessie. "Ready to go back?"

She nodded hardly, then stopped and slapped a palm against her forehead. "Oh, God." She groaned, then she looked up at me, "My dad's going to know."

I blinked. "Know what?" I said before thinking. Immediately after, I felt like an idiot. "Oh."

"He's going to flip." She muttered nervously. She started playing with her hair again.

"I'll handle him."

"Jake, he'll kill you." She said somberly. I laughed, regardless of the fact that she wasn't necessarily lying. He would try.

"Seriously injure me, maybe. But hey, I heal quickly." I dismissed. Edward was a slave to his daughter; if what he did would make her upset, he wouldn't do it. That is, unless it was absolutely necessary. I was hoping this wouldn't be one of those situations. "Come on." I offered my hand.

But instead of taking it, she choked on a gasp of air and stood entirely still. Her body tensed and she didn't take one breath in; she just stood there with her eyes wide open. Her heartbeat spiked suddenly, and that was the only noise I could hear.

It was like those scenes in action movie trailers where the volume is turned completely down, everything turns slo-mo and all you can hear is the thick, steady bass of one's heartbeat, followed by a montage of clips. All I could see was her falling to her knees, her hands grabbing hold of the back of her neck and her mouth moving like she was screaming.

And then I realized she actually was.

Everything returned to regular time, and I dropped to my knees in front of her as quickly as I could. But when I tried to touch her, the pain shot through her whole body, forcing her scream to get choked off because it couldn't get louder.

"Fuck! Shit!" I swore, "Fuck! Renesmee, are you okay!"

I didn't ask to know if she was. She wasn't. I asked because it was the first thing that came out of my mouth, and because some childlike fear inside me let me hope that if I did, it would stop her from exploding or some sick horror movie delusion like that. This was worse.

Her hands were clutching her neck, and her mouth remained open like she were mid-scream. Her face was red, slowly turning purple, from lack of oxygen and strain, and all I could do was debate whether to pick her up, which would hurt even worse for her than her pain was already, and I couldn't do that to her, or leave her there and get help, which would be leaving her with whatever the hell just happened and risking her life. I couldn't tell which was worse.

But under all the pressure of these few fatal seconds, I didn't think of the gifts modern technology had graced us with- cellphones. I raced through my pockets frantically, my hands shaking, to try and find the phone. I finally felt the metal lump and grabbed it out so viciously that it almost went flying.

I was on high speed, flipping the phone open and pressing the 'On' button many times, before the god damn welcome screen came on for a whole five seconds, wasting valuable time no one who bought a cellphone had to waste. Especially me.

There was one damn reception bar. My fingers were already dialing away at the number I'd reluctantly memorized: Edward's.

"Hel-"

"It's Jacob, get over here, she's hurt. We're in that place with trees and snow, interrogate me later." My really unclear instructions lasted barely even three short seconds. I assumed curiosity would get him here faster even though my only description of the place was "trees and snow". Everywhere in this town was covered with trees and snow right now. But what was I supposed to say? "Come to the area with that one tree that has the small tiny marking on it." I didn't have time to study the area! He'd figure it out.

And so he did, because seventeen long seconds later, he was pushing me out of the way to ask Renesmee if she was alright. What a help. She tried to nod, it being easier for her now that she wasn't doing that empty scream thing.

"What happened?" All I could hear was the low, angry murmur of his voice as he placed a hand on her back. She sucked in a gasp, wincing at the pain. Then he looked at me, a single question hanging in front of his eyes like bird crap on a windshield: '_What did you do?_'

I would've told him I didn't do anything, but he wasn't stupid. Plus, I knew how many questions he'd ask later, so I decided that answering them now would be pointless.

"I… don't…" That's all I could make out of the vague, dry, chocked-out whisper that she tried to answer with. I don't even know why she was responding out loud- maybe just to see herself if she really was okay.

I shared a look with Edward for a moment. He was thinking- probably of a way to get her back without hurting her. He knew I would have gotten her back myself if it wasn't for that fact that every time I touched her, things hurt twenty times worse. Edward sighed, slowly and carefully moving her hair to the side to see what she was previously clutching.

From the sound of his gasp and the look of his eyes, I knew it wasn't pretty.

"What the hell?" Edward murmured. He stared at whatever it was on Nessie's neck with curiosity, but the disgust and anger were clear as day on his face. He motioned me over.

"Oh, God!" I peered in closer, even though I was revolted. In her neck, there was a hole the size of the head of a nail. It looked deep, but I couldn't stare at it too long without feeling like everything I'd ever eaten was about to come back up.

"It's nothing." Edward responded to Renesmee, who was probably wondering what the hell happened to her or what was on her neck. I could tell she knew he was lying. "Does this hurt?" He asked, touching her arm lightly. She gasped but bit her lip quickly, stopping any scream that might have come out. Edward scowled.

"Jacob, I hate to ask you, but I- she needs you to do this. I have to go let Carlisle know what's happened so he can get what needs to be prepared ready." I knew what he was getting at. "Please bring her back."

I nodded and sighed as he ran off. This wasn't going to be easy.

**Sorry for the rushed ending. I don't even have an excuse, considering my updates take forever. There's just not as many reviews, so I don't really feel the drive. Hopefully there will be more during school (there always are). Also, try and ignore some spelling mistakes that might have slipped passed me- My spell check doesn't work. That will all be fixed soon. =D.**

**Thanks for reading! And follow my new motto: "You took the time to read it- review it!" Seriously. I don't even care if it's bad.**


	4. Dazed and Confused

**RPOV**

"...Irrelevant!"

"Enough... continue... later."

My head throbbed the more I tried to listen in, making the argument seem incoherent. I could slightly hear the sound of shuffling feet moving closer.

I didn't know where I was. The scent of stainless steel threw me off, but smelled vaguely familiar in a way. This confused me further, making my head throb more, which was already unbearable as it was. There was still that pins and needles sensation lingering everywhere on my body, and my heart was pounding unusually loudly.

I tried to open my eyes. The second they were in only a squint, a stabbing pain shot through my face. As a pain reaction my hand twitched, sending the same feeling throughout my left arm. Any small movements hurt, so I had to restrain myself from moving even if I was uncomfortable; which I was. I felt like I was lying on upright needles.

"Renesmee, are you alright?" I heard my mom ask vaguely.

I nodded my head ever so slightly, like sandpaper on an open wound. I didn't want to tell her how bad off I really felt- she would worry more than she needed to, which was too much already like she always did. Like everyone did.

My dad sighed quietly, knowing the truth which I could aggravatingly never hide from him. "Please don't play it down for our sake." He said.

"N-no, real...ly." I forced out the sentence from my dry, painful throat, proving myself wrong in the process. My voice was rough and cracked, providing no reassurance for my statement. I couldn't stand the pain, but if it would make them stop worrying, I would do a handstand right there and then.

"Don't force yourself." My mom begged. She and my dad seemed like they were taking turns in their talking, covering what the other was going to say like they always did. "I know it hurts. I can see it on your face."

I wasn't surprised- I was never a good actress; mainly because I never had the need to be. When one of your parents can read your mind, it reduces your range of lies to nothing. Not that I was the type to lie or anything, but it would be convenient to be able to in situations like this.

"How bad does it hurt?" She asked, rambling; that's what she did when she was worried. I figured not replying to her would be a sufficient enough answer, considering my thoughts would probably end up getting translated by my dad anyway.

I closed my eyes again and took a deep breath in. My lungs felt like walls of fire growing bigger with every intake of oxygen. I wouldn't be surprised if I was breathing out steam.

I heard a door open and someone say something about painkillers. On the very mention of the word, I shot up. I realized quickly that I was an idiot. The pain in that one second felt like a skewer pierced through the disks in my spine while I was doused in gasoline and shook hands with fire; essentially, I felt like rotisserie chicken.

All of a sudden I was on my back again, winded and gasping frantically for air. My eyes were wide open, and the only thing I registered was that the ceiling was white and I was going to die.

I clawed at the steel supporting me like I would find something useful. I was in a panic, which wasn't helping the situation at all. Then for a moment I had a thought that was so scarily true and depressing that I didn't even notice Jacob take my hand: If I died, things would probably be better off.

For some reason, opposite of what I thought would happen, I calmed down. My airways opened up again, forcing the air back into my lungs. There was a flurry of emotions I was trying to comprehend at once: relief, embarrassment, shame, and depression. It was like a greyscale, only from "Thank God, I'm alive!" to "Oh God, I should be dead."

I remembered that my thoughts were never to myself and instantly felt like a fool. _'Great', _I thought, _'Make them even more worried by making yourself seem like a suicidal depression sufferer. That's been working fine so far.'_

My thoughts and emotions were everywhere, making me completely oblivious to the people around me asking me questions. I didn't know why. I felt flighty and light headed, jumping from one subject to a million others in a minute, but at the same time calm. I didn't know what was wrong with me, and for moments, I couldn't remember where I was or what had happened a second before.

"... Side effects" Someone murmured with an aggravated tone.

Dizzy and suddenly feeling like I was doped up on medication, I repeated what the person had just said. My whole body all of a sudden felt numb, free of pain but also of all other feeling. The problem was that I wasn't in the right mindset to enjoy it while it lasted.

"N-Nessie?" I heard Jacob ask. I knew he was beside me, but he sounded like he was across the room, whispering. I struggled with my response, forgetting for a second where my mouth was and how to use it.

"M..hm?" Was all I managed to get out after a minute.

"Are you okay?" He sounded as scared as Jacob was capable of sounding, which I didn't think was much until then.

I didn't know what to reply or how to say it. I didn't even know if I _was_ alright. Physically, sort of; mentally, no way in hell.

"She's not all together there." My dad or my grandfather said. They were more than right.

"The... kicking in." I couldn't fully hear the lengthy, medical word they used. The only thing I knew was that it was a fancy word for painkillers. So they'd already fed them to me. _Beautiful_.

My body felt like it weighed ton and I was trapped inside, and then I was asleep within seconds.

...

I woke up to an empty room, my head throbbing and unable to recall what had just happened. The white gleaming off the walls stung in my eyes, to bright for me to look at. My back and arms ached as I propped myself into a sitting position, feeling dazed and over-medicated.

"Feeling better?" Someone asked suddenly. I would have jumped, but I didn't have the energy to even be scared. I turned around slowly. Jacob was standing against one of the bright walls, managing to make them even more blinding in contrast. I squinted, struggling to see anything but a blob.

He kicked himself off the wall and came closer, making it easier to see him. Suddenly self conscious about the way I looked, I ran my fingers through my hair trying to tame what was probably a tangled mess. Everything that had happened earlier came back to me.

"Yeah..." I mumbled, unsure of what the answer really was.

"_Really_, this time?" He said, that almost scared tone back in his voice.

I nodded. My neck was stiff and my head was aching, but I knew if I were to say it out loud, the truth would come out. I slipped off the cold steel table to reinforce my point, but had to lean against it to prevent tipping over.

He sighed. "Nessie, why do you do this to yourself?" He asked.

I wondered what he could possibly mean. He could see the confusion on my face.

"You pretend you're alright so people don't worry about you, but that only makes it worse." A sudden guilt washed over me. "You scared the hell out of me."

I swallowed hard, "Scared... you?" I had trouble speaking. Not only because I was so out of it that I was close to sleeping again, but because I didn't know what he meant.

"I mean, one second you're thinking that it would be better if you were... dead... and then I- I can't hear your thoughts!" My _thoughts_? I'd forgotten he was holding my hand when I was panicking. I was such an idiot.

Another wave of guilt hit me, or maybe it was embarrassment. Either way, I never would have wanted Jacob to hear that, especially from my own head. I apologized, but as it's not a good idea to drink and drive, it's not a good idea to try and explain something when you don't know which way is up.

"It's just... I can't..." I tried pushing the words out of my throat, but the more I concentrated on that and standing straight at the same time, the more stars appeared in the edges of my vision.

I guess I didn't notice myself losing balance until Jacob caught me and kept me upright in his arms. He swore under his breath and asked me if I was okay again. I shook my head, sick of lying, and groaned. I could barely even support my own weight.

He picked me up with no difficulty and set me back on the steel table. I lay on my side, closing my eyes until the stars disappeared. Jake was looming over me when they opened again, hands in his pockets and concern on his face.

"What... What did they give... me?" I asked. He sighed.

"I don't remember what it's called, but Carlisle doubled the dose." He said. I couldn't tell whether he was for or against that idea. "You were... uh... out of it, to say the least."

I realized something then; the room was empty besides me and him. I vaguely recalled two people arguing hours ago, sounding similar to Jacob and my father.

Then I remembered what happened earlier today out in the snow, before all this.

Sitting up, I groaned and felt my face heat up. Jacob's concerned expression returned, but before he could ask, I told him I was fine.

"He found out..." I wasn't sure if it was a question or a statement, but he got the point.

"Yeah." He said. As I turned even brighter red, he continued. "It really wasn't that bad."

"_That_ bad?" I coaxed.

"Well, he had some... uh... strongly worded opinions, but I'm still alive, aren't I?"

"Yeah..." I agreed quietly. We stared at each other for a second.

"What's wrong?" He asked. I didn't know why everyone kept asking me. I really wasn't worth worrying over.

"I'm fi-"

"No, I mean, something's troubling you." I looked down, away from his all-knowing stare, and mumbled something about a headache. He didn't believe me. I didn't expect him to. And oddly enough, somewhere deep inside, I didn't think I wanted him to.

"It's just... I don't know, I..." I couldn't phrase it right. I didn't know what was bothering me. That concern of his always looked the same, but why did it feel different now? I stopped thinking and just let my mouth talk. "What happened today; where does it leave us?"

His answer was ready and definite. "Wherever you want it to." He said.

I froze up. My whole life, I always just agreed with everyone else. I never really had to make too many long term decisions.

I took a while with my answer, making the suspense on his face actually visible. But at the same time, he kept that calmness, like whatever my decision was, he would be okay with it.

Sure, I thought, we kissed. But that didn't mean he loved me. It could have just meant we were in the moment. You don't have to be in love to have a moment like that... Do you?

Because I was.

I could feel my cheeks warming up with every second I spent deciding. A part of me begged me to just tell him how I felt, but another part of me decided against it, sparing him the frustration of having to put up with me.

Almost like he read my mind, he said, "Forget about me or anyone else's feelings for a second. How do _you_ feel?"

I took one last second deciding. I reached over, clutched his hand and pulled him toward me, re-displaying that one moment again and kissed him. He kissed me back almost immediately, soft but not too lightly. His hand was steady on my back in case I felt like falling over again, which was probable.

We stared at each other forehead to forehead for a minute.

"I think I love you." I whispered.

* * *

**Yeah, I know, lame ending. I apologize. And I know this took really long to get up, but I just started high school. I actually thought that I wouldn't be able to write for FF anymore, but then I might some friends that also write on FF and got back in the groove. Thank god. I don't think I could survive without you guys. =D**


	5. Beautiful

**JPOV**

"Come on! Are you getting _slower_!" Emmett's voice echoed through the thicket of trees. I heard feet kicking up dust followed by long, hard breaths the closer I got.

They came into view shortly. I stopped and leaned against one of the many trees and watched as Emmett stood with his arms crossed, a stop watch gripped tightly in his hands. His voice was demanding but the smirk on his face said otherwise. He was having fun.

Nessie stood, getting ready to run again, waiting for the beep of the timer. He left her in suspense for a few seconds, then almost pressed down on the button. She went to run, but stopped in her second step. Emmett sighed, and his face turned a little more serious.

"Never rely on sight, ever." He said, "If there's ever a time where running might be the only option, you can't let your enemy scare you. If they see you flinch, they know you will run. And then you lose." She stood, breathing heavily and nodded. "Go!" He pressed the button, and she started off.

I had to admit- I wasn't too happy about her getting back to practice after what happened the previous day. These kinds of things didn't just happen out of the blue and heal themselves. This was something serious, and I didn't understand how Edward was even letting her do this.

Oh yeah, she was "fine". And Edward was a slave to his daughter. I was sure she had to push hard for this one, though.

Nessie skidded to a halt a few seconds later, pushing the snow with her feet. She was doubled over her knees, panting for air as Emmett glanced at the stopwatch with a slight look of disappointment.

"Three point one." He announced and sighed. "This could be the difference between life and death. One more time?" Renesmee nodded eagerly. "Make me proud." He laughed.

She got ready to run again. Just as Emmett was about to click the button once more, Alice appeared, hooking her arm through Nessie's and dragging her off. She tried to say something but hesitated, knowing that Alice would never take 'no' for an answer. I don't even think she was capable of saying no- she always tried to please everyone. It always worked.

"You can make him proud later." Said Alice, "But right now, you're going to make me proud. I mean, after all, you're my favourite niece." Emmett laughed.

"Find another one! She's _my_ favourite!" He called after her. Alice rolled her eyes.

"Jacob, you can come too." Alice said, walking straight passed me and still dragging Ness, who now complied with a sigh. Her face reddened a little when she caught sight of me. I grinned.

I walked with them to Alice's car through the thick blanket of snow to the newly shovelled driveway. The breeze was dry and cold, but not enough to make me shiver as I slid into the leather upholstery of the car I envied so much. Renesmee took the seat beside me, smiling as she put on her seat belt. The front seat was left empty, but Alice didn't seem to mind. She just placed her purse there and started up the engine.

I sighed. That beautiful engine.

The Panamera peeled out of the driveway so silently, I was sure no one would know we'd even left.

I glanced over at Nessie. Her eyes were out of focus, but the way her eyebrows arched downward so very slightly and the small twitch of her lower lip told me she wasn't just staring out into space. I knew that look.

Her eyes suddenly went into focus again, their brightness returning within a second. It lifted my heart up a little. She looked my way and smiled.

Alice went into her usual rants, and I, as usual, blocked her out. It was hard to concentrate on her when I had someone so beautiful, so complex, and yet so refreshingly simple to put all my thought into. And honestly, she was the only person I wanted to think about.

We shared small talk, afraid to get into anything deep or joke around because Alice was there. We really didn't need everyone knowing we were together right now, but of course it would be inevitable that they would find out... if they hadn't already. But still, we were satisfied with small talk for now, occasionally making a joke or two.

She coughed every few minutes, and a sneeze here and there. Her cold hadn't gotten any better. That worried me. She normally got over illness very quickly, in a matter of days. I guess she was still in the "days" range, but I couldn't help myself.

She winced for a second and moved the hair out of her face, revealing her once again dull eyes. She was out of focus for a second again, her arm lingering awkwardly at her side as she propped her head against the other one.

I took her hand in mine and laced our fingers together, our hands resting in the empty middle seat between us. She glanced at me, smiling and turning slightly pink as she did. God, I loved when she did that. It made me feel for as long as it lasted that my purpose in life was fulfilled or something.

She had no clue the power she had over me.

"You okay?" I asked quietly, not interrupting Alice's quick conversation on the phone.

Nessie nodded. "Yeah." She responded, "Just a headache."

"Promise?" I asked, pouting my lips and pulling puppy dog eyes to make myself look like an innocent idiot. No way would she have the heart to lie to that.

She giggled and rolled her eyes, her brilliant smile bringing one to mine. "I promise." She said.

I looked into her eyes for a second, about to lean in and kiss her, when Alice made a sharp left turn, sending me to the right, farther away from Nessie and into the frame of the window. I may have healed quickly, but that hurt like a bitch.

"Renesmee," she said, sing-songy and sure to pronounce every syllable, "You know where we're going, right?"

"I can guess." Nessie responded, shy and quiet.

"Of course you can!" Alice said, giddy. "And do you know why I love you?" She waited for a response, but decided to answer the question herself. "Because you're so much more compliant than your mother."

Yeah, that and she would fit into and look good in anything Alice threw her way.

Only minutes later, hail started hitting the windshield. It came slowly, only a few pellets at a time, but within minutes was a full blown storm. It came down as thick as a shower, making a loud and un- ignorable patter on the windshield.

Alice muttered to herself about the inconvenience of the windshield wiper and how it barely even worked. I wanted to tell her that her reckless driving was sooner to get us into a crash than some hail, but decided to keep my mouth shut. It was safer that way.

The rest of the ride was relatively silent, save the occasional comment about the weather.

We arrived at the mall fifteen or twenty minutes later, the hail still not letting up. Alice grumbled and searched for the closest possible parking space to the front doors. Being holiday season, the place was packed. It was almost impossible to find a parking space at all, let alone one up to Alice's standards. But with her amazing eyesight and foot-to-the-pedal tendencies, we had one in seconds.

"Here, take this." Said Alice, tossing a black jacket with a popped collar and the word "Bench." strewn across it in green. I was about to object, but then remembered that it was hailing and I was "human". I shrugged and put it on.

Alice grabbed her purse and got out of the car. We followed right behind her, making no effort to even to to shield ourselves from the hail or step out of the way of the slush. We entered the building quickly after being pelted by ice-bullets. I shook them out of my hair, but only after did I remember that my hair wasn't shaggy anymore. It was cut short again, this time by Leah, who got pissed off with my hair for unknown reasons. It was a Leah thing, I guess.

Ness giggled as I made myself look like an idiot and like a dog. I grinned, realizing I must really have looked stupid. She didn't mind though. So when Alice looked away and started speed-walking toward the store she was looking for, I quickly pecked Renesmee's lips, stunning her for a second before she turned pink in the cheeks. I grinned and grabbed her hand, jogging to catch up with Alice.

Despite us being behind her by only a few seconds, Alice already had her whole arm slung over with clothing. She grabbed Nessie's arm with her available hand and dragged her off again. I followed them to the change room, taking a seat while Alice dumped all the clothes she'd gathered into Nessie's arms and ushered her through the door. She sighed.

"Remember," Alice said, "I have to see all of them." Then she closed the door and took a seat beside me.

I sat with my arms crossed behind my head and sunk into the chair. The jacket kind of annoyed me, but I was willing to put up with it. I wouldn't have to wear it for long anyway.

"So how's your head still on your shoulders?" Alice asked nonchalantly, grabbing the newest catalogue off the table and flipping through it.

I was caught off guard. "What?" I asked.

"Your head. How is it still there?" She clarified. I took a second to wonder what exactly she was asking.

_Oh._

"What do you mean?" I tried to lie. She knew I knew what she meant though, and there was no way to escape the conversation.

"Well theoretically," Alice started, "If you just happened to be in a relationship or something of that nature with my niece who just happens to be Edward's daughter, how would you go about avoiding the decapitation of your head?"

I thought for a second. "Well, what if said father could never say no to said daughter's wishes, especially when her wish consists of a guy who would take care of and love her more than any other man is capable of?"

Alice raised an eyebrow, not believing me although it was partially true.

"Or maybe he wouldn't know." I offered as a second, more realistic choice.

"Ah." She said.

The door to the change room opened, and Nessie stepped out, her cheeks pink and looking down like she always did when she was on display. Alice hopped up from her seat and made the "necessary adjustments".

"I like the off the shoulder look. Maybe if this was a red belt and...Ooh! Maybe red heels, but your dad would kill me. Oh well." She shrugged it off and sent her back in.

Alice sat down again.

"Uh, so theoretically," I continued. Alice smirked, "How would one have assumed that subject A and B were in a relationship in the first place?"

"Because the observing party isn't stupid and noticed subject A and B holding hands. It was also noted down that A and B stared intently into each other's eyes multiple times."

"Huh." Was my only response. We really sucked at hiding stuff. "So because this is theoretical, how would one go about not dying by the hands of subject A's father?"

She thought for a second. "Listen, Jacob. I don't think Edward will be angry- maybe just a little uncomfortable." She paused, "Okay, really uncomfortable. I mean, she's his little girl. But nonetheless. If this is what she wants, he won't go against it."

I weighed that for a moment.

"Besides," she said, "Can you think of someone better for her?" I let out a nervous chuckle. She got back to flipping through the catalogue.

Ten minutes and five outfits later, Ness stepped out of the change room again, and I had to do a double take. I found myself wide eyed. I actually had to prop my fist underneath my chin to keep my jaw from dropping.

"Oh my God." Alice stole the words right from my mouth.

I always thought she was beautiful- absolutely every second I saw her. But this was something else. This was taking it to a whole new level. And for the first time I found myself thinking, _'God damn, she's hot!'_

The dress Alice so brilliantly picked out was black and very fitted, with a steep V neck that was low but not too low. It was a few inches above the knee with a red trim around the bottom, making her legs look a mile long. The black contrasted against her pale complexion and brought out curves I didn't even know she had.

"This is, um, a little..." she started, stuttering and turning red.

"Amazing?" Alice interrupted. I only sat like an idiot wide eyed and blinked multiple times, convinced I was seeing things.

"W-when would I ever need to wear this?"

"I'll make an occasion. That is just..." Alice stared almost open mouthed. "Jacob, tell her."

"I... wow." I said like an idiot, unable to tear my eyes away. Edward would kill me if he saw me staring at her like this.

"There you go, he's dumbfounded." Damn right.

Renesmee turned red again. I still couldn't look away.

It must have been a few hours later when Alice decided she was done for the day. Renesmee, back in her normal clothes and jacket, walked beside me as we trailed behind Alice.

Alice waited in line by the checkout, the whole store in her hands. We lingered by the exit, hands shoved in our pockets.

The jacket I'd been forced to wear all day starting to become extremely irritating. The popped collar brushed against the back of my hair at times, making me feel like someone was behind me, watching my every move. It rested awkwardly on my shoulders, pulling them down when my hands were in the pockets.

"I don't know how you wear these things." I remarked. She looked back at me, quizzical. "The jacket, I mean. It's irritating." She giggled.

"It looks good on you, though." She offered. "I mean, _really_ good." I grinned. Facing me, she smoothed out the front of the jacket, but her hands lingered on my chest. Her eyes trailed up to mine, shining brightly. Her lips were slightly parted, so I took the advantage and kissed her, holding her waist and not caring whether Alice saw or not.

She pressed her lips onto mine softly, wrapping her arms around my back as she did. I completely forgot what planet I was on.

She pulled back after a few seconds and smiled. It reached her eyes in a way I'd never seen before, and all I could do was stare back in awe.

I moved a strand of hair from her face, mesmerized as I rested my forehead against hers.

"You're so damn beautiful." I said.

* * *

**Credit to DarkAngelz200 for the "jaw-dropping" outfit. Oh, and for the "Alice making a sharp left". Anywho,**

**LOLwow. Bad chapter. Ew.  
****Sorry, it's 2:22 am, and what I thought was sweet and cute while writing turned out to be choppy and dumb. I apologize and promise a better chapter next time. However guys, I reeeeaaaaaalllllyyyyy love reviews, and without them, I don't see a point in writing, so...**


	6. Black

**Renesmee's POV**

The next morning came and I woke up (barely), feeling like I hadn't gotten a wink of sleep. I tried to lay there, maybe fall back asleep, but the bright light that shone through my eyelids wouldn't let me.

Irritated, I slowly sat up and forced my eyes open. My neck ached. I took a deep breath in and realized my room was a lot hotter than it normally was. I shrugged it off and figured that my parents probably turned the heating up because they thought I'd be cold. It was typical of them.

I slung my feet over the side of the bed, moving the covers aside. I stared at the off-white walls in a daze. Forcing myself to snap out of it, I stretched. It only made the urge to sleep greater.

Slowly, I got up and dressed myself. I was too sluggish to really care much what I looked like; not that it would have made a difference. So I just slipped on a pair of jeans and an old grey pull-over. I giggled to myself as I lazily fixed my hair. If Alice knew I still had it, she would throw me out along with it.

I greeted my parents when I finally got out of my room. They sat idly at the "dining" room table talking about "kids these days" like they didn't have to pretend to be that very thing. The enjoyed the winter holidays little too much for that very reason- They got to speak to each other using terms Jake would call sophisticated, not simplifying it for a teenage audience.

"Good morning." I said, feeling like I could just lie down on the floor and sleep there.

"It's ten-thirty, you know." My father replied, "Good _morning_, if that's what the kids are calling it nowadays." My mom laughed but smacked his arm. He smirked in response, making it clear that he was continuing their earlier conversation.

Ten-thirty? I normally woke up a six. How was I even tired?

I took a seat beside my mom and put my head down on the table, using my arms as cushions. She ran her hand along the back of my head, smoothing out the surely tangled mess. I was too out of it to thank her.

"What's the matter?" She asked. I shrugged.

"Tired." I responded, my voice muffled. She got the point.

Maybe it had something to do with what happened a few days back. I figured I might have gotten some weird sort of flu, although I was told it wasn't. But it was something I liked to tell myself to keep me from freaking out.

There was the sound of the chair sliding across the hardwood. I felt slight swoosh of air and guessed that my mom had stood up. But then the footsteps growing distant made me tilt my head up to see what was going on. She had left the room.

I looked around me. "What-"

"Renesmee, I have to talk to you for a minute." My father interrupted. That woke me up.

"O-okay?" I said, suddenly feeling self-conscious. What did I do?

He sighed and shook his head. Okay, so I didn't do anything. Then what was this about?

We sat awkwardly at the table. I fidgeted, curious but not wanting to jump at the conversation in case it was (and it most likely would be) one of those "I'll sit here and nod at everything you say because this is either extremely boring on uncomfortable" sort of talks.

For once, I was right.

He took a while finding his words. I took a while figuring out what could be so bad that my _father_ couldn't even structure his own sentences, being as he usually had his witty remarks for everything. This was extremely out of the ordinary. I was almost scared.

Finally, after running his fingers through his hair one last time, he tried to speak.

"So, uh, Renesmee, I heard about you and... Jacob." He trudged through the sentence like I did. I went cold.

My heartbeat sped up and my face became hotter than it already was, surely to match the dumbstruck look I wore.

I needed to get out of this conversation. I knew where this was going, and I didn't like it one bit. Something told me he didn't either.

"Oh." Was all I could say. I was screaming inside.

He exhaled with difficulty. I knew that if he still had blood in his veins, he would have been as red as me; one of the very many inconveniences having blood came with.

"Listen, I'm obviously not... thrilled," He said, forcing the words out with difficulty. It was even harder to listen to, and I mentally asked myself why my mom wasn't giving me this talk. He ignored that. "But he's a good man, probably the best, and in the end, it's your choice."

Probably the best? I never thought I'd hear him say that- not because it wasn't true (it definitely was), but because they almost never seemed at peace. I decided not to think of this as weird, but to embrace it for the short time I assumed it would last, and held onto those words in case I would need them in the near future.

Not that weak, easily-intimidated me would ever need to.

He was still talking. I guess he didn't notice me zone out. He must have been too busy thinking himself to concentrate on my thoughts. I didn't mind.

"I just want you to make sure your being-"

"I..." wouldn't let him finish that sentence. No way. "I... I get it." I finished, pretty sure that if that had gone any further, my head would explode. Literally.

What a peachy way to wake up.

He looked relieved, like he was thankful that I'd interrupted. The feeling was mutual.

"Okay, well that's good." He said quickly and stood. He followed the path my mother previously took out of the room, and I could only imagine the awkward conversation_ they_ would have. Not that I wanted to.

So I just sat at the table and put my head down again.

A few minutes passed and I began to feel a little queasy. My head pulsated, making me feel almost carsick. I groaned. All I really wanted was some sleep. Unfortunately, the house seemed so hot that the temptation was too easy to give into, and soon I lost myself in a sea of black once again.

**_X_**

I felt a poke right beneath my ribs, jolting me awake and out of my seat. I almost knocked the chair over, but managed to catch it before it fell. My heart pounded and I looked up to see who had done it.

Jacob grinned at me with his hands behind his back. Embarrassed, my face became hot and I turned around, muttering a "hi" and trying to fix my hair a little.

He walked up behind me, putting his arms around me and buried his face into my hair. "'Hi' to you, too." He murmured in my ear.

Choked up and heart racing, I asked how he got in. He laughed.

"Comfortable knowing I know how to get into your house with ease?" He said only a notch above a whisper.

"A little." I admitted. Again, he laughed, and then turned around to face me.

I could see it in his eyes- he was really happy today. For some reason, as always, his smile was contagious. He spoke quickly and moved with a bounce in his step.

"I'm just kidding." He said, "The door was unlocked. I'm not _that_ much of a creep- just a dedicated fan. Oh- here."

He handed me a pink lily. I opened my mouth to thank him, blushing madly, but stopped when he frowned.

"What's wrong?" I asked, worried about his sudden change of mood.

"They're never pink enough." He muttered.

"W-what?" It seemed pink to me. Aside from the fact that he didn't have to even go out of his way to find a lily in winter, he didn't have to fret about the colour.

He smiled at my worried tone, "I can never find one that matches your blush." He explained.

I smiled, surely giving him a better example to work with.

Setting the flower on the table, I took my coat off one of the chairs and put it on. I needed to get out. It was way too hot.

I grabbed Jake's hand and headed for the front door. I paused for only a second, wondering if my parents where in or out of the house. Either way, they'd know where I was, or at least who I was with.

We walked out onto the fresh sheet of snow. It cascaded down in light flurries, getting stuck in my eyelashes and causing disturbances in my vision. Every now and again, I shook them off by blinking rapidly, but it couldn't block out the image of the near-talk I had with my father.

"What's wrong?" asked Jake, "You look... _scarred_."

"I am." I shrugged as we walked out to where we liked to call "Nowhere really". He waited, the silence narrating it for me. I caved.

"My dad almost... He almost gave me the... The talk." I explained.

I expected him to laugh. He didn't.

"Almost?" He repeated. I sighed.

"I kind of cut him off."

"As would anyone."

We laughed. Continuing down our pointless path as always, we talked about stuff we didn't really care too much about, such as movies, and then moved on to people.

"I don't see why they just don't tie her down." Said Jacob on Alice's shopping habits. "I mean really, wearing clothes twice can't be_ that_ bad of a thing, can it?"

I shrugged. "I've learned to just go with the flow. I mean, there are worse pet peeves she could have."

"Like?" he challenged.

"Dogs."

He laughed. I did too, but instantly regretted it. My head wasn't throbbing anymore, but it felt like a jackhammer had been taken to it. I stopped walking and rubbed my temples with one hand, hoping this was just one of those ten-second headaches. It wasn't.

"Are you okay?" Jacob asked immediately. I nodded barely, but the pain came back worse.

"Just a... _ow_... headache." He didn't like the sound of that.

"Are you sure?" I nodded again, but winced audibly, not helping my cause at all.

I noticed him looking at me oddly then, like I was something he didn't want to deal with- something he was afraid of. My heart skipped a beat in a bad way. I couldn't meet his stare.

He grabbed my forearms then. If it wasn't Jacob, I would have been a lot more frightened than I was (not that I wasn't). My eyes darted around aimlessly, looking for something around us to explain the sudden behaviour change. There was nothing.

"Look at me." He demanded, his voice both demanding and frightened. I did, meeting a horrified stare.

"Jacob, what is it?" My voice was barely higher than a whisper. He ignored me, prodding my eyes with his gaze. I shrunk into myself as he pulled me closer, my fear growing even larger. "What's wrong, Jake!"

"Renesmee," He said finally, choking it out in a horrified whisper, "Your eyes are black."

* * *

**Well, I hope you liked it. Sorry for the late updates, guys. =( But PLEAAAAASE review.**


	7. Fine

**Jacob's POV**

"W-what?"

Renesmee's frightened black eyes stared into mine with a sort of confusion. I pulled her even closer, like the less distance there was, the less black her eyes would appear. I told myself it had to be a trick of the light, but it wasn't. This was wrong. They were brown a second ago, I swore. I would have noticed otherwise. This was a sudden change.

"Jake-"

I let go of her arms and grabbed her hand (which was a lot warmer than usual), stunning her into a silence. I would normally never do this to her- keep her in suspense and scare her out of her mind, but today was an exception, because not even I knew what was going on. I had to bring her to someone who would.

Carlisle.

"What's going on? Where are we going?" She asked in a panic. I didn't answer, absorbed in my own thoughts of worry.

This _had_ to do with that puncture wound we'd found in the back of her neck- that attack. There was no way this was just a coincidence that happened to fall only days after. Something was happening to her, slowly but surely, and it definitely wasn't good.

And if it wasn't good, it stood a possibility of being lethal. With that chance in place, we needed to figure out what it was immediately. I stopped to consider for a moment if I was over exaggerating the situation. Then I realized that if I was right, I didn't have that sort of time to spend freely.

"Jacob!" Renesmee's voice finally rang in, louder than usual as if she'd been trying to get my attention.

Finally, I swallowed and tried to talk. "Something's happening to you, Renesmee. I don't know what it is; hopefully someone will." I couldn't even try to hide the fear in my voice as I trudged through the snow, practically dragging her along with me by the hand. Then I muttered, "Why do these things always happen around _here_?"

"Where are we going?" she asked, making no effort to even try and disguise how she felt.

"Carlisle." I answered shortly.

In only a few short minutes, we were at the Cullen's doorstep. We stepped inside, interrupting a conversation between Alice and Emmett on how he should take better care of his clothing. He looked thankful. I didn't.

"Where's Carlisle?" I asked them sharply.

"He's up in his study-" said Alice, curiosity and suspicion lacing her eyes.

"Why?" Emmett interjected.

My only reply was to tighten my grip on Renesmee's hand and lead her up the hardwood staircase. Our footsteps were enough to gain Carlisle's attention. When we made the top of the stairs, he greeted us outside the door to his medical study.

"Jacob," He nodded, "Renesmee. What brings you h-"

Then he noticed; I didn't even need to point it out. His eyes narrowed in confusion and his lips became tight and thin. He looked away for a second and then motioned for us to follow him inside.

We did so, standing awkwardly in the doorway. I let go of her hand. Renesmee gazed up at me, her eyes wide and very frightened. She looked paler than usual, to add to everything. But no matter how hard I tried, it was difficult to hold her stare. It wasn't natural- it wasn't right.

She became fidgety as Carlisle searched through one of the many drawers in his wooden desk, looking for something that quite obviously hadn't been used often. After a few more seconds, he grabbed out what looked to me as a thick silver pen. He shut the drawer and walked over, flipping the thing around in his fingers. I saw then that it wasn't a pen- it was a small flashlight.

He pressed the back of it twice, I assumed to check the battery. A bright bluish-white light shone from the tip.

Carlisle strode over to Renesmee.

"Open your eyes widely." He told her.

She did what he said and widened her solid black eyes the widest they would go. Carlisle raised the light to Renesmee's eyes and shone it over once. She winced and immediately closed her eyes tightly, covering them with her hands like the sun was shot in her face. Carlisle's eyebrows furrowed as he tried to figure it out.

"A-are you okay?" I asked, taking an automatic step toward her.

She nodded, removing her hands from her face and trying to open her eyes. It took some time, but with difficulty she finally managed to. Her eyes were watering slightly. She took a deep breath in and nodded again.

"Ow." She commented as she blinked. I glanced at Carlisle.

"It's difficult to judge, but considering that you have trouble keeping your eyes open when exposed to light, I think it would be safe to say that your pupils have been dilated to their fullest extent." Carlisle explained. Renesmee glanced over her shoulder at me as if maybe I might know why. I shrugged back, probably more clueless than she was.

I was relieved. Well, as relieved as I could be, anyway. So her pupils were just dilated- that wouldn't last long, right? I mean, there wasn't exactly an explanation, but at least it wasn't more serious. The only thing to figure out now was why.

But there was still the strange, stinging feeling of worry welling up inside my chest and stomach as Carlisle muttered to himself, trying to figure things out further.

Then there was a light knock at the door, despite it being open. We all turned around to see Bella and Edward walk in. Edward's expression was filled frustration and concern. He walked immediately over to Renesmee and looked her in the eyes. He then felt her forehead and asked her how she was feeling.

"I feel fine." She responded quietly. Seeing as this was her automatic response to anyone asking if she was okay or anything along that line, Edward naturally assumed she was downplaying the situation.

Bella gazed at Carlisle for a second, who repeated what he'd said about her pupils being dilated.

"But why?" asked Bella.

"It's difficult to determine." Carlisle answered.

"Are you sure you're feeling alright?" Edward murmured to Nessie quietly. Again, she nodded. She really hated people being concerned over her.

"You have a headache." Said Edward.

"It's small." She replied quietly.

"But it's still a headache."

"It's just from the light." She insisted, "And it's small."

Edward gave her a look that no one needed to be a mind reader to understand. It was sympathetic but still held frustration. Renesmee looked down and shoved her hands in her pockets, tilting her head away from his. She opened her mouth slightly, but he interrupted.

"Don't." He said, "You're not okay, Renesmee. You're very pale, warming up and over-tired. This is a cause for concern, considering recent events. None of us would like to see you get sick because you didn't want to tell us how you really feel."

I heard no response, but apparently she had one, because Edward had another thing to say.

"That's not true." He almost growled.

"Yes, it is!" She exclaimed. I had never seen her snap back like that- ever. Hell, I'd never even seen her get annoyed. But that was the voice of pent-up anger speaking, and I knew she would regret it. She apologized quietly. "It's just... I'm okay. Really."

As if the gods were against her, she coughed multiple times before being able to continue. I exchanged nervous glances with Bella, who bit her lip in apprehension.

Edward, getting closer to Nessie, was stopped. "I'm fine." She insisted as usual, before coughing again. "Seriously. It's... It's just a cold."

"The last time I checked, your eyes haven't gone black because of a cold." Edward tried to answer more softly. "In fact, they've never gone black at all." Again, she looked down.

"It's probably nothing." She answered quietly, knowing she was wrong.

Edward looked like he had just remembered something. "Turn around." He said. She swallowed hard, nervous and confused, but did as he said.

He moved her hair from the back of her neck and wore the same expression as the moment he found the puncture mark. "It's gone." He muttered to himself.

"Gone?" I repeated in disbelief. "How can it be gone?" I moved close to see what he was talking about, and sure enough, there was no hole- not even a marking.

"_What_'s gone?" Renesmee asked nervously, her voice shaking.

Edward exchanged glances at me, trying to decide how to word it.

"You had a..." He searched for a word, "A cut on the back of your neck."

"Oh." She said. Her tone was enough to convince me she didn't believe him. She subtly shrugged him off and turned around to face us, her eyes still on the ground.

"How long do you think her eyes will be like this?" Bella asked Carlisle after a few seconds of awkward silence.

"Well," he started, "I'm not sure what's caused this in the first place, but I don't expect it should be long. It could be gone by tomorrow." Bella sighed with relief. I didn't.

'_Could be.'_ I held onto those words. He didn't know what caused it, so he wouldn't know what could stop it. I had a feeling it wouldn't go that easily, whatever it was. In fact, and it was a thought I tried to push down, I had a feeling it was going to get worse; _much _worse.

The wound was gone without a trace, like it had never even been there, yet she was still getting sicker. It didn't make sense, and that didn't help the situation. But I had a feeling we were all jumping the gun- trying to figure out what to do instead of what did it.

My eyes passed over her. Her stare was set on the ground, like there was something interesting there that no one else could see. Small shadows were cast under her eyes, outlining the dark circles even more. Her skin was an almost ghastly white; more than usual. She looked so weak that I was afraid she would pass out that very moment. And she almost did.

Bella caught Renesmee as she staggered backward. Her head rolled around for a second and she opened her eyes wide. They darted in all directions as Bella helped her back to her feet

"What... What just happened?" She asked. Her voice was shaky and weak.

"You almost fainted." Edward said. His tone was cold, but it was also coated with worry. "Care to tell us how '_fine_' you're feeling?"

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**Well, there's another chapter. Review (please) and tell me how you liked it!**

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	8. Soft Shock

**Okay, guys. This chapter is in Jacob's POV again because it serves the purposes of now. Sorry if you guys get bored of him. LOL. Any tips would be appreciated!**

**Carrying on,**

**JPOV.**

The silence filled my ears between the cold whooshes of the breeze. The waters only twenty feet ahead stood still; frozen when the winter arrived. Another breeze swept passed me. It reminded me again that she wasn't beside me.

There was a knot in my stomach that I couldn't seem to get rid of. Being away from Nessie already had me paranoid, but the thought that she wasn't okay didn't sit well with me.

I'd been getting the daily updates. I talked to her every day, but I hadn't seen her in four. The worst part was I could barely tell if she was playing things down or not. Her voice sounded constantly tired and she coughed every few seconds. I could tell Carlisle had doped her up on medication twenty-four/seven- she took more time than usual to respond and sometimes didn't even hear what I said. This was the only time hearing her voice made things worse.

Laughing sounded in the distance, too far away for me to care. I dug through the thick layer of snow to what was seasonally the stony beach, grasping a small pebble and pulling it back up. I rolled it around in my hand to feel its flat, smooth surface, and tossed it onto the thin ice which developed above the water.

It bounced.

And bounced, and bounced, and bounced. Then it skidded to a halt. Annoyed but too lazy to do anything about it, I sighed. I wished at least the waters would move, but everything around me seemed frozen. Or maybe it was just me.

I was sick of the silence. I was sick of my internal rants. I could drive myself crazy in an hour, and I already had more than once. I fished the pocket of my jeans for my phone and pulled it up, dialling her number.

A few rings and she answered.

"Hey." She greeted, her voice rough and cracked.

"Hey." I replied, "How are you holding up?"

I could almost hear her shrug through the speaker. "Could be worse."

I doubted that. "Let's hope not." I answered. She let out a weak laugh and agreed.

"They've got you on more meds, don't they?"

There was a pause. "Yeah." She answered quietly. I nodded, despite her not being able to see it. I wasn't thrilled, and by the sounds of it neither was she.

After a few seconds of silence, I said, "I hope you get better soon. I'm really damn bored without you."

"I miss you, too." She replied. "I wish I could see you. My dad's acting like the fate of the universe depends on me not communicating with those of the outside world. It's so silent; I could drive myself crazy in an hour."

"Been there, done that." I said. Again, she let out a weak laugh. Then she coughed for several long seconds. I waited, apprehensive. My heart thudded loudly.

"Sorry about that." She said as she cleared her throat. "The cold medicine isn't working."

I thought I heard a bit of thankfulness in her tone.

"That doesn't stop them from making you take it, does it?"

There was another pause. "It never does." She muttered, and then very quietly, she added, "It's tripled."

_Tripled_? What were they thinking? Just because medicine hit her later, it didn't mean it hit her any less. What if she had a bad reaction when it all got to her at once?

Like she sensed my thoughts, she said, "Don't worry about me, Jake. I'll be fine." I frowned because I doubted it. What if things only got worse? I hated to think in the negative, but I couldn't help it.

I heard her catch a breath, like she was about to say something.

"What is it?" I asked. She didn't answer right away.

"I was, um, just wondering about something..."

"What?" I prodded.

"Well... um, since last night, everyone's been acting different. I mean, _very_ different." She stopped; I guessed hoping I would explain. I figured it was just worry, as always. Then she continued, "They've been acting like I could drop dead any second now."

I froze up and couldn't find the words to respond.

There was a minute when no one spoke. Then her breath caught again.

"Sorry, Jake. I've got to go." She said, and then added in sheepishly, "I love you."

"I love you, too." I managed to get out before she hung up the phone.

Still distracted by her words, I got up slowly. I had to move- I had to _think_.

Why would they act like that? Was she misunderstanding their worried glances, or was it something more? I wouldn't be surprised if they knew something I didn't. There was a lot they could find out in four days- A lot they wouldn't tell me. But why? What could possibly be so bad that I couldn't know?

Wait, could they have found out what actually happened to her a few days ago? Did they know what caused the... issue that came up that day in the feild? Why would they keep that from me?

"Hey, Jake!" A voice called, and my thoughts were immediately interrupted as I found myself in a headlock.

"Let- Let me go!" I struggled against the iron grip that held me where I was. I could barely breathe.

"Guys, get your asses over here! Jacob's finally here during daylight!" I recognized the voice as Embry's.

I heard three other people approach in a run, and was slowly let go from the headlock. I massaged my neck with my hand, the ache lingering for a few seconds. When I looked up, I saw Leah, Seth, Quil and Embry. Embry and Quil grinned, but Seth out-beamed them both. Leah, however, was busy being Leah. I didn't bother.

"God. Did hell freeze over, Jake, or am I hallucinating?" Said Quil, laughing.

"It's astounding. How'd she shake you off her leg? Did she reject you or something?" Embry added sarcastically.

I sighed. Although I had to admit their sudden company did lift me up a little, I was still weighed down with doubt and fear. I guess that came across wrong on my face, because they reacted like I told them one of my sisters had been run-over.

"Oh, sorry man." Embry said, guilt coming across clearly.

"What?" I said, snapping back out of it. Then I got it. "Oh. _Oh_, no. No, I didn't get rejected or anything." I left it at that. I'd let them figure it out on their own.

And so they did.

"Does that mean what I think it means?" Seth said, overly giddy.

"I don't know." I said, feeling for the first time these few days, a smile creep up on my face. "What do you think it means?"

His smile grew wider. Quil pushed him out of the way.

"You're finally together?" He didn't even wait for a response. "Jesus Christ! It took you long enough!"

The reaction was like I told them I won President or something. Claps on the backs, shouts and cheers. All except for one.

Leah, just in time to ruin my finally somewhat cheerful mood, chimed in.

"Wow, okay. So if you've finally conquered the tall mountain of asking a girl out, and the even taller mountain of succeeding in doing so, why aren't you with her now?"

It fell silent for a few seconds and the good feeling that was starting to creep through me quickly disappeared. My face dropped and I went back into that slow-sluggish mood I'd grown used to.

"She's, uh... she's sick. _Really_ sick."

I didn't want to get into detail of how bad off she really was. They didn't need to know. Maybe if she got really bad... maybe I'd have to tell them, because chances were I would barely see them at all, but for now nothing needed to be said.

However, I saw a deeper understanding crawl onto Seth's face. Being the only other of the pack that was _truly_ comfortable around vampires, he hung out with them a lot like I did. He also knew Renesmee as well as a decent friend would, and he knew the way her health worked, too. She rarely ever got sick, and if she did, it was never more than a cold. So for me to say "really sick" meant something on a different scale.

No one else thought anything of it, but Seth shot me a look that seemed to ask if she was okay. I raised my eyebrows slightly and averted my gaze. He got the point.

The conversation died down after that. Seth muttered something about Leah being a buzz-kill and I had to agree. I think everyone did.

The group left, one-by-one. The conversation had become awkward after that, and I'd completely lost my attention.

I found myself still outside hours later, alone. I'll be honest- I kind of preferred it that way. Not alone, I mean. I would have much rather have been with Renesmee. But at that moment I was so overwhelmed with worry that I didn't want to feel like I had to pay attention to something that wasn't important in that second.

I ran out of thoughts. I thought over everything I possibly could (or wanted to) - twice. My mind briefly skimmed over the grim possibility of what could happen if her "situation" wasn't figured out soon. Would she get worse, or was this something that would pass?

But really, the only thing I wanted to figure out was what happened to her that day?

It wasn't _nothing_. It couldn't have been. Not with what followed; not with that hole in her neck. And why did it suddenly disappear? Nothing added up! I thought that maybe something that had happened before triggered this whole chain of events, but I couldn't think of anything. She was perfectly fine.

But what pissed me off the most was the fact that the only words and phrases I could think of to help me lately were "anything", "nothing", "something", "sudden", "no clue", "don't know" and "It would be really convenient to know all these things right about now".

So I sat by the frozen waters' edge and sighed multiple times, thinking these things over and over and over. But, as I realized quickly, it was no help. I wasn't very smart- not when it came to this stuff. Hand me a broken car and I'd have it back in an hour or two, but this was more intellectual. I was lost.

But that never stopped me before, and I wouldn't let it stop me now.

Just then, my phone rang.

'_Twice in a day?' _I thought, '_Something has to be wrong."_

I picked it up without looking at the caller I.D. That was why I was surprised when Edward spoke.

"Jacob? Would you mind making your way over?" There was a hint of urgency in his voice. "We've got something to... show you."

I agreed and hung up, already starting on my way.

This couldn't be good.

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**Thanks for reading! I just thought I'd let you know ahead of time that the next chapter's going to have to be in Jacob's point of view as well. :( Sorry if that upsets anyone, but it's for the sake of the story. Also, for those of you who were giving me tips for my character development, I would appreciate a little feedback on how I did in this chapter. Thanks! **


	9. Bad Feelings, Good Intuition

_**JPOV**_

Edward dropped a small stack of paper on the glass table irritably. _Nervously_.

"It arrived at one o'clock this morning," He said, adding reluctantly, "from the Volturi." Bella behind him was still as the statue that she was. The only thing that moved was the subtle twitch of her lip as she bit it.

I tensed up. We hadn't heard from them in years. It didn't make sense. They couldn't be reconsidering now, could they?

I swallowed.

"Uh..."

He sighed and dropped into the nearest chair, rubbing his temples. I briefly wondered why he bothered; it wasn't like he literally had a headache. It wasn't like he was the one who was informed nearly a whole day later that something else might have been going on.

He didn't seem to notice my train of thought. If I'd cared more, I would be thankful, because he seemed like anything could set him off the rocket.

It was silent for a minute. No one said anything. The only thing that could be heard was my slow heavy breathing and the occasional cough from a few rooms over.

"What... what is it?" I asked eventually. This only seemed to make him edgier.

"It's _unnerving_, that's what it is." He growled.

Bella glanced at me quickly, but too fast to catch her expression. She then put a hand on Edward's back and told him to calm down. She looked like she should have taken her own advice.

"Read it." Bella's voice quivered slightly as she slid the papers toward me.

I reluctantly picked it up, but it was a while before I actually got to reading it. I was afraid of what it might say; afraid that it might bring back the situation that had been dealt with years ago.

The package was at least four pages long, attached with a small paper clip. I wondered for a second if they really expected me to read the whole thing right there and then. The thought was quickly dismissed. My eyes numbly scanned the document. I didn't realize how much my hands were shaking until I noticed I wasn't really reading, but just staring at the vibrating pages in my hand.

I inhaled, trying to swallow my fear of the unknown.

'_Dear Carlisle', _it read, the cursive so tiny that I had to strain my eyes.

'_We seem to have run into a slightly more than serious issue...' _My eyes wandered and my attention strayed again. I skipped a few paragraphs of old English that was difficult to understand or care about. Why was I reading this? Couldn't they just explain this in a nutshell or something? I mean, if it was really this urgent...

'_...short a member of the Guard... come to her end...'_ These words, I knew, were probably important, but for some reason, I didn't take them in as I should have. I just kept on skimming, picking up the occasional words. The only thing I got from it so far was that they had a problem.

Like _we_ didn't.

Then I noticed a sentence that really caught my eye: _'We are not as immortal as we like to believe.'_

"What the hell?" I muttered, and backtracked. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see annoyance crawling over Edward's face.

I began to actually read.

'_We are now short a member of the Guard. This is not a simple notice for the convenience of your coven, but a suggestion to take heed to the following. I ask that you do not take this information lightly, nor spread it to any other coven unless absolutely necessary._

_It appears our prized member of the Guard, Jane, has come to her end. This was not a decision executed by our coven. Judging by what we have discovered so far, it seems not to be executed by any of our kind at all._

_Jane was found in the hall on this December second, going against all we thought we have known of our kind. She was still, and appearing dead beyond what is capable of us whilst remaining intact. It seems we are not as immortal as we like to believe.'_

I tore my eyes away from the page for a second.

"Why am I reading this?" I asked. Edward's eyes narrowed.

"You would answer that for yourself if you kept reading." He spat back. I glanced at Bella, who gave me a look as if to say "don't worry about him". I shrugged and continued.

'_As you can see from the enclosed photographs...'_

Curiosity got the better of me. Instead of reading the rest of the paragraph, I flipped the page over, just to find another with the tiny cursive written on it. I flipped one more, praying there wasn't more I would be forced to read later.

What I saw next made me wish otherwise.

It took everything in my power not to throw up as I held the glossy photo in my hand. It was a close up of something that might have resembled skin if it didn't look like broken glass. There was a hole in the middle of the surface which was about the size of the head of a nail and at least two or three inches deep.

My heart took a running start when I realized why it looked so familiar. I turned to the second photo, but I didn't hear the page flip. I only heard the echo of Renesmee's scream.

The second page was the same photo, but zoomed out. I recognized the girl in the frame as the one that everyone seemed to hate but fear at the same time. Only this time it looked like there really wasn't much left to fear. Her coal-black eyes were wide open, looking petrified, but there was an extra stillness to her that told me she wouldn't be moving anymore, even through the still photo.

And sure enough, glancing down to her neck, the hole was there and it was plainer than ever.

I had enough. I dropped the stack and felt the blood drain from my face.

"And they still have the audacity to invite us to their coven after that." Edward snarled under his breath.

My whole body felt numb; particularly my face. I didn't feel or hear myself speak.

"What... How..." There were too many questions to ask.

"I guess you noticed the resemblance?" Edward said in a low growl. I opened my mouth knowing that nothing would come out, so he continued, "Jane was burned to death from the inside out. Not decapitated, not thrown into a fire. Just burned. That has never happened before." He added in an undertone, "That's never been enough."

"Okay." I said, because that was the only thing I could.

"I feel like I'm pointing out the obvious here, but Renesmee isn't well- at all." He pursed his lips and ran his fingers through his hair, managing to look more stressed than he already did. "And I know she decided to skip out on telling you this, but her temperature is running at a steady one-hundred-twenty-two right now. I'm not quite sure how she's even still alive, but I assume it's because she's not entirely human. Point being, it's not likely that these two situations _aren't_ related, given the similarities. The Volturi are always, er... well fed, and Renesmee's eyes have never gone black. As much as I hate to say it, these are more likely symptoms than a coincidence."

"Symptoms of what?" I asked, holding another thought back.

"I'm not sure. But if it's claimed one of the most powerful vampires, I have doubts-"

I knew what he was getting at. I interrupted again, against my better judgement.

"But you don't know it's the same! I mean... wouldn't they have noticed if, uh, Jane was getting sick or whatever? It kind of sounds like she dropped dead or something, and Ness has been sick for days..."

I trailed off. Edward used this to his advantage.

"Consider she's part human." He said.

"Yeah, but... but wouldn't that make her, uh, more vulnerable to whatever this is? It doesn't make sense." I was talking to myself more than anyone else, trying to come up with any answer.

"I know, but nothing makes sense lately."

It was silent for a few seconds as I soaked in what he was trying to say.

Edward didn't think Renesmee would make it through this. Bella hadn't said a word. She probably agreed. But Ness didn't sound that bad off when I was talking to her. She couldn't have gotten worse so quickly, could she?

"I'm afraid she considers you're feelings too often." Edward responded to my thoughts, but there was something in his voice that was hard to place.

"What'd-"

"Renesmee hasn't told you the whole situation." He paused for a second before he continued. "She hasn't eaten or drank anything these past few days, and I mean anything. She's been throwing up violently, her eyes are still black, and she can't sleep. Plus, the previously stated fever isn't helping. And that's only the tip of the iceberg."

My stomach gave a lurch. I knew she'd gotten worse- or, at least, not better- but I didn't expect her to be that bad. I took a second to force myself to believe what Edward said. It was difficult for me to convince myself that she would actually censor how bad she was feeling (to that extent) so that I wouldn't worry about her.

"Beautiful." I groaned, dragging my hand down my face like I could wipe my expression off.

"She gets it from you, you know." Bella muttered to Edward, who sighed.

I finally took a seat when they started with a quiet discussion I had no interest in.

I propped my elbows up on the table and held my head in my hands. I ran my fingers through my hair like I would find an answer or a realization there, but no luck came my way.

I was given enough to think about for centuries.

_Right. _So now we knew that this wasn't _just_ as sickness; not if it infected a vampire. And if it was, it was _damn_ strong, which left me the question as to why it was affecting Nessie at a weaker, or more likely slower rate. If anything, wouldn't having a blood flow be a disadvantage, or did this just affect every one of its victims differently?

Edward was right- it didn't make sense. But nothing did.

"Where is she?" I asked quietly after a minute or so of thinking the same aggravating thoughts over and over.

I didn't look up, but I could hear the negativity in Edward's voice.

"She's in her room clutching her head because she has a severe headache that's been acting on and off today, and she's hoping that I won't notice or comment on it if I do." He said it quickly but pronounced each word carefully and loudly, almost as if he wanted her to hear.

"Oh." I said. "Mind if I talk to her?"

He paused before he answered. "Give her a minute." He replied, "Wait until the headache has passed. I wouldn't doubt if she had trouble hearing you through it."

So I waited.

That minute was extremely uncomfortable. I could see it in Bella and Edward's eyes, whose stares were averted, that I wasn't just me. That was the first time I really ever asked for their approval to talk to Ness- It felt like we had all just remembered the fact that despite all our past histories and experiences, I was their (only) daughter's boyfriend. To every father, that's just a heaping pile of teenage hormones (in my case, as Edward would probably see it, built-up hormones) waiting to make up for every minute lost. And to Bella... Oh God, that was too awkward to even think about.

My mind switched subjects so quickly that Edward didn't even have time to comment on it.

There was a few more seconds of that awkward silence in which Edward "cleared" his throat and nodded his head toward the hall. Confused momentarily, I mentally asked him if that was the go-ahead for me. His response wasn't verbal but his expression seemed to scream "Anything more than words and I will end you."

I stood up and, for the first time, felt a feeling as though I was trying to impress (or at least get approval from) Edward. Bella I wasn't so worried about- she'd dealt with that situation once sixteen years ago when she almost killed me.

I sighed and, turning my mind to more serious matters, walked down the hall slowly. I had no clue how the conversation would go, but I was feeling apprehensive. Adding to my list of "firsts" within the last five minutes, this was the first time I'd ever gone into a conversation with Ness with a bad feeling.

The problem with this was that my "bad feelings" had a knack for being right.

* * *

**Well, there it is. Cred to DarkAngelz200 for helping with the letter from the Volturi. Sorry for the late update. Review!**


	10. Hysteric

_**RPOV**_

My skin was hot to the touch, but I was in a cold sweat.

It lingered in the corner of my room, watching silently. I stared at it through the corner of my eye. I couldn't look at it; not directly. Maybe it was because it was horrifying, but something told me it was because I didn't want to acknowledge the fact that I had been driven to the point of hallucination.

It took a "step" toward me. Well, not so much a step as it just glided over, stopping only a foot away from where it had previously been. Its tongue, though I hardly thought it one, considering it had no mouth, slid curiously in my direction as though trying to feel out where I was.

I was completely still, minus my heartbeat hammering in my chest. Was I even breathing? I felt it would be too much of a risk to avert my eyes to see whether my chest was rising and falling. A faint ringing ran between my heartbeats.

_'You're being ridiculous.' _I tried to tell myself, _'It's not real. It can't be. These things don't exist.'_

_'Yeah,' _Said another voice; smaller but still echoing my own, _'But neither do vampires or werewolves or shape-shifters, remember?'_

The... _thing_ moved closer. I saw vaguely what could almost resemble the shape of a man if I looked quick enough. But the way the ash-looking substance glided, mimicking (as far as I could see) human-like joint movement though it didn't need to, was unnatural; too unnatural to be real.

The argument in my head started again.

_'Or,'_ said the second voice, _'too unnatural to be imagined.'_

I shuddered. It moved even closer, a cloud of sweet ash sweeping by my face. It filled my lungs and I coughed again. The vague conversation in the living room paused briefly.

Its tongue slithered around some more, still searching. My cough seemed to give it a lead. The thing made its way toward me in a quicker pace now. The closer it got, my head seemed to give an extra throb. Maybe I just didn't like the idea that something I knew didn't exist was getting to me this way.

Its tongue hovered in front of my face. It was so close that I could no longer ignore it. The scaly-looking texture of the ash, smoke or whatever it was lingered by my forehead, a fine point at the very end of it.

I remained still as the needle touched my skin lightly. A piercing pain shot through my skull. I wanted badly to grasp it in my hands- moan, maybe scream, but I had to stay still. This was not real, and if it was, I would not give it the satisfaction of knowing it was doing its job- that is, if it could _feel_ satisfaction.

The rest of the tongue slid soundlessly across my throat, as if to mock a death that hadn't happened. The feeling was so extreme that I couldn't tell if it was hot or cold. But somehow, I managed to stay entirely still.

There was a very sudden, light knock at the door. I whipped my head in the direction, stupidly ignoring the immense pain in my neck and the previous notion of keeping still.

"Uh..." The voice at the door lingered. I recognized it instantly as Jacob's. "Could I- Could I come in?"

I paused before answering. My heart hammered in my chest again, but for a different reason. The thing seemed to have disappeared.

I got to my feet and dashed to my mirror quickly, thinking, _'See? It was just your imagination.'_

My hair was a mess. I tried to smooth it out, but it barely helped the situation, so I went to trying to fix the sweater that somehow gotten to the extreme of lopsided on my shoulders.

"Y-yeah." I called back, but didn't think I was loud enough until the door creaked open slowly.

Jake walked in, unnecessarily closing the door behind him. He knew that my parents could probably still hear him, so I assumed it was just habit.

He looked disturbed, like he had seen something he rather wouldn't have. The expression was familiar, and after a quick thought, I realized it was the exact same expression everyone had been looking at me with since that morning; that look that said they knew something I didn't. That look that said he thought I was going to die or something.

"Hey." He greeted softly.

"Hi." I tried to force on a smile. He saw right through it but didn't comment.

"How are you feeling?" He asked after a short pause.

'_Don't say it as it is.' _I reminded myself, saying aloud "Decent."

He cocked an eyebrow. I looked down.

My voice didn't come out exactly as strong as I'd hoped. Behind my back, I clenched my fists. I hated the fact that I couldn't even speak properly- I never could. But then again, there wasn't much I could ever do. I was an excuse for a "half-breed" and wondered often, besides choice of diet or speed, what really differentiated myself that much from being completely human. I mean, the way I gave myself away so obviously al the time...

"I heard..." He began quietly after a few seconds, "I heard you haven't been doing that great."

'_Of course he did.'_ I thought. In this family, everyone knew about anything that occurred within the hour. I guess that's what happens when your father is a mind reader, your uncle knows your every emotion and can _manipulate_ them, your grandfather is a doctor who probably knows more than the whole collective conscience of every doctor out there, and news travel as fast as they can run- which is pretty fast.

I took a deep breath. A wave of heat ran over me. I swore I was about to pass out and it wouldn't be the first time. I could tell that Jacob saw this by the way that he moved closer ever so slightly and tensed.

I realized I hadn't said anything, which wasn't going to help my situation. I saw in his expression that he was stuck in a thought.

I tried to make my voice louder; to convince him that I really _was_ fine, but that proved more difficult in practice than in theory. My eyes drew toward the ground again. All that escaped from my mouth was a feeble "I can cope."

Oh, that was another _beautiful_ thing about being what I was- While it was part of my family's nature to be able to completely shut off the display of their emotions, I couldn't even look at _Jacob_ eye to eye- let alone convince him that the weakest link was okay.

I heard him shuffle and took the chance to glance up at him. He shoved his hands in his pockets but I could still see the vague shape of balled up fists. I tried to speak again, to try and reassure him, but he sighed loudly. His eyes bore into mine and I forgot what I was going to say.

"Can you really?" He asked quietly.

I opened my mouth to respond "yes" but found out that I didn't really understand what he was asking. Was he being sarcastic or was he asking me honestly?

"What... what do you mean?"

"I'm asking you, Renesmee, if you really _can_ cope with all of this on your own."

I tried to think before I opened my mouth. I tore my eyes away from his with difficulty and felt my face take on a hotter note. What was I supposed to respond?

I knew I couldn't, but I wanted to be able to. I wanted to show myself more than anyone else that I really could take care of my own problems. But I quickly realized I couldn't when, once again, I saw something move out of the corner of my eye. I froze and my heart hammered.

I slowly looked up at Jake, and sure enough, _it_ was right there behind him. He didn't notice it as it moved slowly closer to him, its tongue trailing again and a cloud of ash sweeping into my lungs...

I collapsed into a fit of coughs, doubling over myself. My eyes were shut tightly. I felt hands on my back and arms helping me back into a standing position. But when I opened my eyes again, it was gone. There was only Jacob looking nervously at me.

I stepped back and looked wildly around, but it was nowhere to be found.

"Are you-" He started, but couldn't seem to find the words to finish.

I shook my head slightly. My insides went cold.

"Jacob..." I started, and before I could stop myself, I added "I need to tell you something."

Something hit me then: So I wasn't willing to admit to myself that I'd gone insane, but I was perfectly fine admitting it to another person? Or maybe... maybe I just needed someone else- maybe I needed _Jacob_- to tell me I wasn't.

_Amazing, _really, how much I depended on other people.

Jacob rearranged his expression so that it was difficult to read. Again, he searched for words, his mouth opening and closing like he wanted to say something.

It was now or never. I had to tell someone, and I couldn't back out now. If I did, I had no clue what would happen to the little sanity I had left. So with one final breath in, I set my gaze on the wall right behind him and began to speak at breakneck speed.

"I've – I've been s-seeing things and I think I'm going crazy, but it all – it all seems so real, and I can't-"

"Whoa, slow down." He interrupted. My heart hammered in my chest. I tore my eyes away from the wall and forced myself to look into his. His stare was piercing. "Start over."

I sighed and looked around me quickly. Why had I opened my mouth? Wouldn't it be better, I thought, to suffer my insanity alone and not drag him down with me? But it was too late to pretend I'd never said anything, so I cursed myself silently and tried to continue explaining.

"I've been... um, s-seeing things lately..."

"When did 'lately' start and what have you been... seeing?" he demanded.

My face burned. I didn't think that this could be that embarrassing.

"T-two or three days ago- I can't really remember." I explained and mumbled, "It's hard to separate the days from the nights..."

There was a pause, and his voice dropped to a lower volume. "Why didn't you tell me?"

I swallowed.

"Well, I thought it was just the medication," I admitted. He frowned. "I didn't think-"

I had no idea I was shaking until I was wrapped in Jacob's arms. My head was pressed up against his chest. I took in many slow, rattling breaths, trying to get a hold of myself. I wasn't very successful and continued trembling violently.

"Calm down," he murmured, "It's okay. Now, what exactly did you see?"

"I- I don't know!" I said, my voice muffled in his shirt.

After all, I'd never looked straight at it. So I settled for the best way of explaining that I could.

I leaned away from him as far as I could to yank my arm out of his grip. He loosened up a little as I pressed the tips of my fingers up against his face.

It felt like both of us were frozen as what I had seen in the past few days flooded into his mind. They way it moved, the cloud of ash sweeping along with it, the way its tongue slithered like a snake ready to attack... the way it touched my skin with that piercing, burning feeling.

Suddenly I felt like I was dropped back to Earth. I opened my eyes to find that there was a definite gap between Jacob and I. He looked mortified, worried and disgusted. He didn't move and held completely still, his muscles tensed, just as I had when I had first seen it.

"What- What the hell was _that_?"

I shook my head.

"I don't know."

And although I was curious myself, something inside me told me I wouldn't _want _to know.

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**Sorry for the wait. Exams are coming up and, well, yeah. I'll try my best to update ASAP. Now, if you would be so kind- REVIEW! :D**


	11. Still Around

**Hey guys! Sorry for the wait. I know I don't normally put author's notes at the beginning of chapters, but here's why I have: So I was told that the story's been moving a little slowly by people who know the whole outline, so I decided to cut straight to the chase with this chapter. It might seem like it takes a jump into things, but it's the only way I can get on with it. Meanwhile...**

**JPOV**

"She's dying anyway!" Alice argued, "It's inevitable, Edward. Don't you think-"

"She is _not_ dying!" Edward snarled. Every muscle in his body tensed, ready to jump on the next person who disagreed. His voice was lethal. He was a trigger just waiting to be pulled back enough to kill.

I stayed out of it. I shouldn't have, but I did. I knew what would happen, and although I had as much a right as anyone to voice my opinion, I didn't. This was dangerous territory, and I still didn't know quite where I stood. Just one step and I could hit a bomb.

This was an all-out battlefield now.

"Yes, she is! Are you blind?" Alice accused, but before Edward could bite back, she added "I know she's your daughter, Edward, and don't even think for a minute that I don't know where you're coming from, but this is-"

"It was the same for us, Alice!" Edward said. Their voices rose with every word.

"Not really, no." Jasper disagreed quietly. "How long has this been going on for- two weeks, at least? It was over fairly quickly for us."

I could see the way Edward glared at him, like he honestly wouldn't mind if Jasper stuck his hands in a fire and kept them there until they were black and disgusting, or preferably gone, so that he would never function properly again- or at least so that Alice would refrain from touching him. Maybe that was just me.

I saw a tiny glint of humour in Edward's eyes for one second before it disappeared completely. At least my thought wasn't wasted.

"So it's just taking a bit longer..." Bella chimed in. She didn't have an argument planned, and that had good chances of working against her. I could see the frustration cooking in her eyes that this was a debate in the first place. If I could feel something besides my head pounding, I would probably have agreed.

When Alice stared at her in disbelief, Bella continued.

"We can't just give up on her, Alice!"

"There's a difference between giving up and agreeing. In case you haven't noticed, your daughter has been _begging _you to end her life."

"It doesn't _have_ to end!"

Alice sighed heavily. Her eyes narrowed impossibly, but I could see a hint of sympathy in them, which obviously Bella hadn't, by the way she stared maliciously back.

"She was never truly immortal, Bella. Not like us. It's really easy to kill her: lack of air, heart attack- anything. She was bound to die sooner or late-"

It all happened in a blur then. I couldn't see everything until the whole room was rearranged. Jasper was gripping Bella's arms from behind her, apparently holding her back from Alice, who was being gripped by Edward. All four pairs of their eyes had gone feral.

"Calm... down!" Jasper forced out, struggling to hold Bella back. "Edward, control your woman!"

"Not until... you control yours!" Edward said as he held Alice back, who was clawing with all her might against his grip, her legs suspended off the ground and kicking aimlessly.

"_Enough_!" Carlisle's voice boomed from beside me. I almost jumped. Everyone stopped moving immediately. Having not said anything in this conversation and not (at least to my knowledge) ever actually looking pissed, the silence in the room fell right away.

"What is the _matter_ with you all?" His black eyes glared incredulously at everyone in the room. There were small sounds of shuffling, everyone averting their gaze quickly, almost like kids being yelled at by a teacher. I found it hard to look away, surprised to see him snap- but at the same time, his eyes held such authority that I really didn't want to be in the room. Momentarily losing his fatherly fashion, he sounded like a cop interrogating a suspect.

Edward slowly let go of Alice, who snatched her arm away from him. Jasper, looking however cautious, did the same with Bella.

"Settle this like adults- not temperamental children."

Everyone stood quietly in an awkward air, each picking their argument carefully. Finally, after many seconds of what I'd grown to know was "strategic silence", Rosalie spoke.

"What I don't understand is how there's a disagreement about this."

Emmett beside her looked down and muttered something that sounded like "_I_ don't understand why you're continuing it."

Rosalie's head snapped toward him, her eyes and voice sharp as a pitchfork. "Excuse me?"

He opened his mouth to reply, but his eyes looked regretful. He stuttered, "Well, I mean... Not for anything, but-"

"Speak." She growled.

I could see it then- he couldn't get himself out of this one. He wasn't a quick thinker. She was going to put him in the dog house, and he could see that. As much as Emmett annoyed me at times, I didn't want him to be put on trial for having his own opinion about the situation. Hell, I agreed with him. What was the point of arguing about this?

I sighed. It would be better for her to hate me than hate him.

"Who are we to decide whether she lives or not?" I finished for him. He stole a thankful glance at me while Rosalie turned her head slowly in my direction, a look of contempt already in place.

She answered my question with another, although it was rhetorical.

"Who else _will_?" she sneered, "Obviously not you, considering you haven't said a word about it."

My defences rose. I felt suddenly angry. Who the hell did she think she was?

"Have you ever considered that maybe I think about what I say before I open my damn mouth?" I growled.

"No, I haven't." She hissed, "But please do elaborate- I'm _very_ interested in what you have to say about this matter."

The trembles started. They were light, but still there. How badly I wanted to punch her pretty little face, no one could have ever guessed, but I couldn't do it. She _wanted_ to get me worked up.

Edward left the room then, heading down the small hall with a walk of purpose, but I couldn't bring myself to care in that moment. With my teeth clenched so tightly together that it was hard to speak, I asked with as much hatred as I could muster, "Are you asking me to pick a side?"

She batted her eyelashes, feigning sweetness.

"Yes, I am." She said, her voice sugar coated to the point where I felt like throwing salt into her eyes. I could see a look in them that said either way I was defeated. If I joined her side, then she had the satisfaction of knowing she had the control. If I joined the other side, then she would only argue more.

The room had gone silent. Everyone's gazes looked almost apprehensive- well, except for Rose. They waited expectantly. Whether it was for an answer or for her attack, I didn't know. But I could see it in all of them- they just wanted another vote for their team.

"And who's that going to help?" I replied. She was about to answer when I cut her off. "No, alright? Obviously I don't want her to die. But unless you've got some life-saving remedy we don't, there's nothing we can do, _is there_?"

She stayed quiet for a moment, her glare cutting into mine like a laser. I could feel the stares of all of them on us, waiting to see what would happen next. I didn't blink and neither did she.

To my surprise, her eyes softened. "No, but-"

"But what?" I interrupted, feeling only a slight guilt in doing so, "You don't think I'm looking for the same thing? You don't think we would all do something if we-"

I choked on my words then, clutching at my chest. Something happened. My heart pounded frantically, but the beating was out of place, like it was in the wrong part of me. My ribcage felt like it was constricting. It was hard to breathe. What was happening to me?

Despite the fact that it felt like I was in the middle of a heart attack (or had an elephant sitting on me), the pain seemed disconnected. It was almost like it wasn't happening to me, but I was a voodoo doll taking someone else's pain.

'_Wait,' _I thought, _'someone else's pain...'_

Rosalie, along with the rest of the people in the room, stared at me curiously. She looked as though for once in her life, she was considering helping me, and then thought better of it. But I couldn't bring myself to care about her at that moment.

"No..." I muttered as I realized what was happening. I grabbed at my shirt, panicking, and forced my legs to move in the direction Edward had gone only a minute ago. My heart pounded harder and faster, the beating still not within my body's control.

'_Step, step, step! MOVE!'_

I gasped for air, but it wasn't filling my lungs.

Then something snapped; I wasn't sure what it was and it didn't snap completely, but something happened. It was like for years I had two thick cables pulling me in opposite directions, keeping me in place, but now one of them was gone and I was dangling dangerously, trying my best to pull myself back toward the other side again. The broken connection made me feel scared and exposed.

And then I knew for sure. I knew that my worst fear had been confirmed, or at least most of it.

As my heart beat heavily one last time before it returned to its normal pace, as I covered the last few steps and Renesmee came into view, I realized that whatever had happened to my heart didn't happen to me- it happened to_ her_.

I only managed to whisper a feeble "no" before it happened: Her heart took one last heavy beat before it lapsed into a dead silence.

Nothing was said. No one made a sound. The rest of the family in the other room did not come running, but their argument cut immediately.

I stopped breathing. I couldn't move even if I wanted to.

She lay there, her matte hair strewn across her grey, wax-like face and her eyes shut. The rise and fall of her chest with every breath was gone. She was now a statue, just like the rest of them- except she wasn't moving at all.

Edward stood over her, his expression vacant. It seemed as if he were in mid-step and was frozen suddenly. He made no sign of movement. The whole scene looked like it had been paused. Inside, I hoped it was.

I heard the tiniest, distant shuffle; a head moving in another direction, perhaps. Then I heard footsteps. Next thing I knew, I was pushed to the side of the room like a ragdoll- not that I was showing anymore signs of being conscious than one.

"No," Bella whispered, "No... She can't..."

Maybe Edward didn't hear her, because he didn't respond. But what did words matter now?

My eyes swam in and out of focus. I swayed on my feet. Focus, _focus, FOCUS!_

I told myself to watch closely. _'Her eyes might open,' _I thought, _'She might twitch- Something, anything!'_

But nothing; nothing at all.

Suddenly, like a switch was flipped, movement was all around me. I didn't take notice of who walked in or out. All I could do was try my best to look away from Renesmee's still body, because I knew that if I let it sink in, it would be the end of my world. So I tried to focus on something else; Edward's expression- that of a kid who just got slapped by his mother after receiving perfect grades, like he was asking "Why? I thought I was doing things right."

But my eyes dragged back toward her, and soon I couldn't even try to pull them away. It was so silent that her voice echoed in my brain, and I couldn't take it- not if she wasn't actually going to speak again.

But that one cable that was still there was holding on strong. She wasn't gone- she couldn't be. _'I would know!'_ I told myself. There wouldn't be a doubt in my mind about it. She was still there, somewhere, even if she wasn't showing it.

'_She's still there. She's still there. You're still there.'_ I thought, unable to find my voice, _'Please, answer me! You're still there! Please! I love you... Please.'

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_

**_Alright, another chapter done. LOL. Well, I hope you guys liked it. I really hope Jake wasn't too out of character. Thoughts?_**


	12. When You Know

**Wow, alright. It's been a while. Sorry about that. I was forced to read the Harry Potter series and was distracted by that for a while before I managed to successfully pull myself out of that universe and back here. **

**Also, before I begin this chapter, I want to forewarn you all of a few things: This chapter will be very similar to the preface, but **_**many **_**things have changed since I wrote that, so sorry if a few of the lines in there don't add up. Also, Jake's POV is going to make up the next few chapters. I'll explain later.**

**And, just in case you're wondering, this part of the chapter takes place while the Cullen's were having the argument in the next room. Jake's POV will take place where it ended off last chapter. Hope that clears things up.**

**Without further ado,**

_**RPOV**_

Everything was burning. _Everything. _I didn't think it could get possibly get worse; but then again, I had never wanted to die so badly in my life.

It was like acid was running through my veins and tissue and there was no other way out of it but to escape my own skin- and that wasn't going to go over well with immortal parents. Maybe their suffocation would kill me before this- but one could only hope.

It had been a week, maybe, since I'd seen _it, _whatever it was; a week since things had really started to burn. And still it stood by, whenever I gained the willpower to open my eyes, to taunt me. I must have been amusing to watch. Dying should be easy- so why wasn't it?

I could hear their argument a few rooms over, and I knew all too well what it was about, but I couldn't understand why it was still up for debate.

I was as useful as a post-it note in this state. Actually, not really. Post-its had a purpose- you could write reminders down. For example: "Buy eggs, bread, etc". The only reminder I was giving was "Near-dead kid in house. Do not kill. This would only make things easier."

But then again, things were never done the _easy way_ in this family. I couldn't think of one normal thing about it. We were the outcast of every community; mortal or immortal. So why should that stop now?

Because for once, I was tired. I just wanted this to be over with. For once, I didn't care what people felt of it. I wanted to die.

Okay, I lied. I would have preferred to live if I didn't have to deal with this. No doubt I would miss it all; my family, the memories, Jacob.

Surprised that it made its way through the burning, I felt a pang of guilt. I hoped that he wouldn't take my death too extremely. I couldn't see why he should, anyway. It wasn't like I had ever really done anything worth missing.

But just as these thoughts made their way into conscious brain, something odd happened.

The burning suddenly stopped.

My eyes shot open. What was this? This couldn't be possible. No, not after all this time. It couldn't just suddenly disappear.

I sat up cautiously, afraid that even the smallest action would send the flames licking throughout my entire body again, but nothing happened. My dad had already entered the room, staring at me with an apprehensive concern that I felt myself. I examined my shaking hands in the bright light. They were whiter than I had ever seen them before; almost blue-ish, to match my abnormally blue veins.

My vision seemed to be enhanced. I could see every single detail in my hands, every particle of dust around me, and every hair on my father's eyebrows furrow in deep confusion.

Could this be...?

"Did I... did I turn?" I asked quietly, the only words I'd said in days. I already knew the answer; I was immune to venom. But it was worth a shot.

He shook his head very slightly, even more worried than before, and whispered, "No."

I lowered my hands, his face coming into full view. I couldn't tear my gaze away from his wide, scared black eyes, knowing he saw the exact same thing in mine.

"This isn't right." I said. Again, he shook his head.

The room spun around me then, and I was sent crashing back into the pillows. Three things happened then:

One- The burning returned in full blast, not sparing any inch of my body. I wanted to scream, but no sound came out. I was paralyzed.

Two- My heart started beating unusually, like it was in the wrong place, or on the surface of my skin instead of inside my ribcage.

Three- There was a ripping feeling from inside of me. It wasn't a physical pain, nor was it emotional, but it was there. It was like my identity... my _definition_ was being torn apart.

The lights flashed too quickly to count. It was like I was on a high speed train blazing down a tunnel, and the lights were the only thing that could guide me. Bright, dark, bright, dark.

Too bright, too dark.

But there was one second before I blacked out, before all my senses were cut off, that I could still think. And I knew this was it.

'_I love you._' I thought to my father, knowing he would pass the message on. And then everything went black.

Finally.

**JPOV**

One steel cable.

One was still left, and that was the only thing that kept me rooted to the ground. Just one. And if I could hold on to anything at all, I would.

I licked my lips nervously, my chest tightening with each breath. I was the only one breathing now- the only heart beating. But no one was still anymore.

Just me.

The room was in chaos, rightly. And for a brief moment I wanted to ask Alice, Emmett and Jasper exactly why they seemed so distressed as Carlisle did chest compressions on a body that I could see in his eyes was beyond the point of saving. Weren't they for this? Didn't they think this is what we should have given her?

But this wasn't over yet, and that was the only explanation I could give to myself as to why I was so calm. Well, calm compared to the others.

But why? What proof did I have that she wasn't dead when all the evidence was staring me in the face? Or rather, would never stare me in the face again?

Would never open her eyes... would never laugh... would never say sorry a million times for something she didn't even have control over... would never smile... would never show a memory...

No. _This. Was. Not. Over_. And I was sickened by the looks of loss beneath the urgency in all of their bottomless, black eyes as they hurried to do whatever they thought (or hoped) might help.

I grabbed onto the doorframe and felt a shiver run through me. I couldn't phase- not here, not now. '_Just a few more seconds'_, I told myself. '_She's still there...'_

I was relying on one imaginary cable; absolutely nothing else. No other sign. No logic, which I was sure she would politely press on.

But the funny thing was that she would only press the logistics and technicalities on people when it came to her- no one else. It didn't matter how weak anyone was; to her, they would still have a chance. That was, of course, unless she herself was the subject matter.

But right now, she herself _was_ the subject matter, and there was no point to argue anymore. So how could I still be holding on? Was it denial? Was I searching for any possible answer besides the one lying lifeless in front of me, plain as day? Something inside of me protested. It was sure that she was still there. '_But how?' _I asked myself.

Again, it protested, and my subconscious shot back another thought. How was _any _of this possible? Renesmee had been attacked by something no one could see and therefore no one had heard of; most likely the same thing that killed that girl from the Volturi. But it worked so much quicker on a vampire than it did on a hybrid, and the effects were only similar in one way- the temperature. So when we were dealing with something no one had had experience with and everything made as much sense as pillows made out of bricks, anything could happen- including her not being dead, no matter how... _convincing_ it seemed.

Carlisle stopped and looked down. "That's all I can do." He said, and stepped back.

I wanted to punch him. _Hard_.

I wondered how he could deal with death every week, working in a hospital. I'd heard Edward and Rosalie's stories; how he'd saved them because he couldn't bear to see their lives lost. But why some over others? Why was he giving up on someone who wasn't even gone yet? Someone so close to him?

She was still there, and a stopped heart wouldn't tell me otherwise. She was still there, wrapped within herself somewhere too far to find right now. Death was not an option. Not for her. Not for us.

Many silent minutes passed by, and I knew I was the only one who was certain she was still alive. Everyone slowly gave up. I could see it in their gestures. Emmett slowly put his arm around Rosalie's waist, who seemed to forget being angry at him before and simply leaned into him. Carlisle held Esme close to him, but unmoving; solid and cold. Bella stood completely motionless, and Edward edged closer to her, but not before a grim thought crossed his gaze and turned his eyes completely hollow; a thought that wasn't his. Someone must have thought something that hit home.

I vaguely wondered who it was before I realized that Alice and Jasper were no longer in the room. I hadn't noticed them leave, but was not surprised. They'd done in once before when things were looking down, but last time they had gotten help. Where were they now?

As if to answer my question, the door creaked almost silently and they walked in, a slowness someone would bring to a god damn funeral.

The silence rang in my ears, annoying the hell out of me. Jasper glanced at me, and I could see confusion lingering in front of him. I knew why; my imprint had just "died" and I was annoyed about something. I glared back; it was something to do while the silence passed.

After a few seconds, though, he gave me a sympathetic look, and turned his gaze back to Alice, who took a breath as if about to say something.

"I ca-"

"Don't!" Edward interrupted, his eyes shut tightly like he was holding back tears he knew wouldn't come. He drew in a shaky breath.

"I can see now." She stated anyway.

Bella took a sharp intake of air and Edward grabbed onto her- whether it was to support her or himself, I didn't know, because I didn't care. Instead, I turned my eyes onto Renesmee.

Still motionless, like a figure carved from wax, her eyes were shut. Her lips were slightly parted, and it might have just been me, but there seemed to be the ghostly image of a slight smile on them. Her skin no longer held the appearance of its smoothness, and her hair didn't shine its brilliant colour, but a dull brownish-red. Her appearance seemed so... _human_-like now, a change that had started a week ago, when the sickness was taking its full effect- when she told me she saw that... _thing_. And although she could still pass for an angel asleep, she didn't quite seem to match up to the mental image I had of the Renesmee I'd known just two weeks ago.

Bella bit her lip and moved away from Edward, closer to her daughter. Her hands lingered like she didn't know what to do with them.

"Please," she whispered. Edward placed a hand on her shoulder. "Please, open your eyes."

"Love, she's go-"

But her eyes _did_ open then, causing everyone to step back in shock. Her heart didn't beat, and she wasn't breathing, but her black eyes were open.

And at that moment, all I could think was, "I knew it."

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**Okay, so I know that the preface was pretty much elongated, but this was a very important chapter. This one's got a lot of information I'll be using in later chapters. Sorry it took so long to get up! A crapload of stuff has been happening. I'll try my best to get the next one up ASAP.**

**|REVIEW|**


	13. Talk

**I'm so sorry, guys. I don't even have an excuse as to why this took so long. On the bright side, though, in the time I've taken to finally finish this chapter, I've managed to fix the majority of the plot-holes. So I hope you like it. Also, although I promised myself I would stick to just Ness and Jake's POVs, I caved. So, without further ado...**

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_**Edward's POV**_.

Their reply finally came.

I read it over again and again and again, almost like staring it down would reveal some sort of hidden message. But as the seconds on the clock ticked past, there was nothing. Nothing except the five words they had carefully written.

'_Well, this was not anticipated.'_

I held the paper delicately in my hands. Bella read over my shoulder, holding onto them.

"'Not anticipated?_'" _I asked in disbelief. I crumpled the paper violently and threw it into the trash bin. "'_Not anticipated_!'"

"Calm down, Edward."

I clenched my teeth together, pivoting in my seat to face her.

"Bella, they gave us _one sentence_ as a reply." I reasoned, although there wasn't any in my voice, "How am I supposed to calm down?"

She sighed and took a seat beside me. I wondered for a moment exactly how she had been remaining so calm throughout these past few days, or moreover, weeks. Was it the calm before the storm, or could she have known something?

I shoved the thought away. She knew nothing more about this than I did, of course. But then how? How could she keep her composure so well? How could she be so _calm_?

It seemed questions were the only things I had been hearing lately.

Bella must have seen it. She knew why I was really upset. Sometimes I wondered if she could read _my_ mind.

"You're not Superman." Said Bella quietly, placing her hands on my own, "You can only do so much."

Her words reminded me of those she had said years ago; only then, she was saying the opposite. I wanted to rebuttal, to ask her if she would have said the same thing back then, but I knew I would regret it later. The bad mood I had gotten used to usually spilled consequences, and I didn't quite feel like adding to the list of people who were upset with me.

Firstly, there was Jasper, who had begun to be quite snappy with my lately because of my conflicting emotions, which didn't help much because someone would have to break the argument up. That person would usually end up siding with him and tell me to try and see the brighter side of things, which of course, was a completely ridiculous idea.

Then there was Emmett, who largely considered me just an empty shell filled with negativity that, unfortunately, could walk and talk.

Carlisle was driving himself mad, although he would never admit it to any of us. He tried to act optimistic, or at least try not to sound negative, but I knew it was a cover. We all did. A cover for every moment he spent trying to figure out exactly what happened to Renesmee. He liked a challenge every once in a while, but he couldn't seem to accept this might just have been impossible to solve.

But then again, neither could I.

Alice and Rosalie talked to each other even more than usual lately, and it seemed that the conversation was always light- _too _light to take seriously; comments on the weather, on the latest trends... but nothing more opposite could be going on in their heads.

And then there was Esme. She seemed to be the only person aside from Bella (but even that had its exceptions) that I tried to swallow back my bitterness for. She, like Rosalie and Alice, tried to keep as optimistic and normal looking as possible, but the facade disappeared quickly only minutes after taking it on. I couldn't blame her; her whole family was being torn apart, and there seemed to be no way to fix it- even with Carlisle searching so frantically.

I finally replied to Bella.

"And it's never enough."

It would never _be _enough. It made me so angry to feel completely useless- like there was absolutely nothing I could offer. I couldn't stand it. I just couldn't swallow being able to only sit and watch and_ try_ to communicate with my daughter.

My puppetesque daughter, with her glass-like eyes staring out into the distance like there was something there that no one else could see. She kept her posture proper, making her look like a porcelain figurine of a princess; but there was something missing. The crown, maybe? No. Something else.

Just another question to add to my list. But I didn't want questions. In fact, I didn't even want answers. I just wanted a fix.

But as I was so sweetly reminded by the course of this situation, I could fix nothing. And because of that, just like Renesmee, I could _do _nothing.

"Don't think like that, Edward." Bella pleaded. "It won't do any good."

"Then what will?" I shot back, "What else could possibly go wr-"

"Don't say it!" She warned me.

"Why not?"

"Because as soon as you say it, something else _will _go wrong." She said, "And we don't need that."

There was a moment of silence.

"No, we don't." I agreed quietly.

Finally, she said what she had been keeping in.

"Edward, I'm scared. I'm terrified. I can't bear the thought of this happening to anyone else." She admitted, "And..."

Her voice trailed off and she looked away.

"And what?" I asked.

She hesitated for a moment.

"Well, I know this might sound weird, but... I'm... not glad, but better off knowing... uh..."

"Bella?"

"If it had to happen to one of us," She finally got out, "It's better that whatever did this just happened to get the one that won't die from it..."

She went on, talking about how horrible it would have been if we had actually lost one of our family members, but I lost myself in thought.

As far as I'd noticed, we practically did. What exactly was different? Aside from the occasional blink or two and the odd ability to move when told to but not otherwise, what other signs were there that she was alive at all? She had no heartbeat. She didn't breathe. But what bothered me most was the fact that I couldn't see into her mind. I couldn't see what was going on, if anything was, or if she was literally just a puppet now.

The very thought had me shudder.

"I wonder if she can hear us." Bella thought aloud.

"Right now?" I asked, "Maybe. There's no way to tell."

But something triggered in my memory. Something that had barely crossed in my thoughts as important- she could blink. And that wasn't on command.

But there was something else. Something I must have seen. A movie, maybe... Yes! A movie! I remembered watching bits and pieces of it while I waited on Alice's next moves in a chess game once. A woman tried communicating with her husband who had become completely paralyzed by having him answer by blinking- one blink for 'yes' and two blinks for 'no'.

At the time, all I could think of was how bad the acting was, but now, I could never be more thankful that Alice took a long time deciding what move to make.

We had an angle to work at now.

I glanced over at Renesmee who sat idly on the couch, unmoving. Her eyes bore into the wall opposite of her, like she was examining it for damage.

I stood up without a word and made my way over to the couch, sitting down carefully beside her. Bella followed, but remained standing.

"Edward-"

"I have an idea." I assured her quietly.

I took a deep breath.

"Look at me." I said to Renesmee.

It took a moment, but slowly, she pivoted her head in our direction, her eyes meeting mine in an eerie, empty way.

"Can you hear me?" I asked, and when Bella was about to interrupt, I finished my request, "Blink once for 'yes', twice for 'no'."

She blinked once.

I jumped, startled. Did that... did that actually work, or was it just a fluke? I exchanged a quick glance with Bella, and then turned back.

"Do you know exactly what happened to you?"

One blink.

"D-do you know what did this?" Bella asked, her voice a little shaky.

I half expected myself to come out of a daze. Was this actually working? No, it couldn't be. This was too simple.

But her eyes bore into mine, and I decided that even if this wasn't really happening, I would go along with it anyway. I'd rather have fake answers than no answers at all. At least it would put my mind to ease.

But this time, she blinked twice.

My heart sunk.

"Wait, maybe we're just asking the wrong question." Said Bella, placing a hand on my shoulder. Turning her attention back toward Renesmee, she asked, "Do you know_ who_did this?"

One blink.

"Bella, could you get some paper and a pen, please?"

Bella nodded and walked over to the kitchen, grabbing a notepad and pen from a drawer. She handed them to me.

"Does it start with an 'A'?" I asked.

She blinked twice.

I went through the alphabet, until she blinked once for 'L'. An odd excitement flowed through me as I wrote it down on the paper.

Within the next five minutes, I had a name written down, but it made no sense.

"Lauren?" I read aloud.

Bella cocked an eyebrow and pursed her lips. That didn't add up. The only Lauren we knew of was the one at Forks High School, and she was no threat. Albeit she was a hassle, she wasn't a danger.

But then Renesmee blinked twice.

"Not Lauren?" Bella asked.

Two blinks.

Confused but curious, I went through the alphabet again. But I didn't bother writing down the last letter, because the pen had drooped to the floor.

_Laurent._

* * *

**Again, I'm SO sorry for the wait. The chapter name was taken from Coldplay's song "Talk". The lyrics might give those of you who want one a little hint as to what exactly is going on.**

_"Are you lost or incomplete?  
Do you feel like a puzzle, you can't find your missing piece?" _

**REVIEW**

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V **


	14. Laurent

**Oh lord, I can't even apologize for how late this is. T^T. But just a quick thing before I start- I'm going by the BOOK description of Laurent in this story, not the movie. Just sayin'.**

_**Jacob's POV**_

"Laurent?"

The name sounded familiar. I'd heard it before. Where and when, I couldn't remember, but it rang a bell.

"That's impossible." Said Rose, "Bella, you said he was dead."

"And he is!" Bella responded, "or _was_, or... I don't know."

There was a lot of uncomfortable shifting- something I didn't see too often.

Edward sat at the table we surrounded, writing a letter a mile long about one name. but our focus was elsewhere. The name hung in the air in front of us, a mystery because- as a constant refrain reminded us- it couldn't be right.

"Are you sure this wasn't just a-"

"A fluke? A coincidence?" Edward offered, still writing at the speed of light and his eyes still stuck on the paper. I wondered how he could think two different trains of thought at the same time, "I thought about that, too, but It's highly unlikely."

"But there is a chance." Said Alice, "I mean, Renesmee never knew about him. So she never would have known his name. Maybe your eyes were playing tricks on you or-"

"That's even less likely." Edward interrupted.

Finally he finished, signing the letter. He stuffed it with a sigh into the envelope and sealed it closed. He slumped in the chair and rested his head back, muttering to himself more than anyone else, "You said it yourself. She never knew about him, so she wouldn't know his name. How could that be the one name she pulls out of her memory if there's no memory of it? No. It's too... wrong. Mind you, it could be a different Laurent, but as I said, _very_ unlikely."

Edward straightened up and put his head into his hands.

"Uh, who's Laurent?" I finally asked.

All eight of their heads turned toward me slowly like I had just asked the most ridiculous question they had ever heard. Their stares made me shift uncomfortably where I stood, adding to the already restless feeling inside of me.

"You don't remember?" Bella asked. Her expression screamed disbelief.

"Oh, the irony." Emmett said quietly. It was the closest he had dared come to humour considering the circumstances lately.

"Irony?" I repeated, "I don't-"

Rosalie, who had recently showcased her inability to stay quiet for more than ten seconds at a time, decided it was time to speak up again.

"It's no big deal, really." She said, the sarcasm heavy in her voice. "You and your little puppy pals only tore him bit by bit and burned him- you know how it is."

"Wait, what?" That was ridiculous, and I was about to voice that when a face popped into my head. "Oh, sh-"

"Yeah."

I remembered him- his dark hair and red crimson eyes that lusted for blood. The way he was ready for attack and the way he almost did. But even more than that, I remembered the takedown- the sweet, sweet takedown.

"Looks like someone changed the light bulb for once."

"Wait- but... no, he's dead! How could he-" I began to protest, when Rosalie cut me off _again._

"Thank you, genius, for reiterating my point."

Alice took a seat. "Where do we even go from here?"

It was the question everyone was asking. Where to go. What to do. Such an important piece of information and not one thing we could do with it. Trying to coax an explanation out of her in that state would take forever- not that we didn't have the time- but you know, it would be preferable to get something done soon; to get her out of that state, to get her talking and alive…

That would be nice.

But, as luck had it, nothing came. Edward, with a final of many sighs, folded the letter and stuffed it unceremoniously into an envelope. It seemed that with everyone, even the most mundane tasks had become a bother; a nuisance. And to think- it was all because of the lack of her presence.

I was confident that I was going to go insane. I was breaking down inside and I don't know how I hadn't cracked. Maybe because I had a feeling she could see and hear everything, like someone trapped in a cage, and I didn't want to break down with her watching. I had to be strong, because wherever she was inside that body of hers, she was being strong too, and I wouldn't let her fight whatever it was alone. Besides, it's better fighting a war with two blind men than one.

I scratched at the scruff on my face; I really needed to shave. I felt homeless, and for all the meaning it had, I pretty much was. Running on reputation, I'd barely gotten any sleep ever since this all started and was relying purely on coffee and a massive headache to keep me awake. I'd sleep when this was all over. Or maybe I wouldn't. I'd just have to see when- if- that time came.

Just thinking about it made the temptation ridiculously hard to ignore. I closed my eyes for a second and had to force them back open.

"You should probably sleep." They were the first words I'd heard Jasper say in a while.

"Yeah, I should," _'But I won't.'_

"He has a point, Jacob." Said Edward quietly.

I exhaled loudly. "I couldn't even if I tried. You know that. What if-"

But his attention had been drawn elsewhere. Immediately, like the flick of a switch, his eyes had darted over to the other side of the room where Renesmee was. I followed his gaze and felt my heart either drop or pick up- I was too startled to figure it out.

She was standing, that blank look on her face gone immediate concern taking it's place in her eyes. She seemed to be moving, slowly but still moving, toward the door.

Edward, in a flash, was right by her side. I stood numbly where I was, unable to move as he tried to speak to her with no success. She kept moving, walking right past him. Finally, he saw the direction she was heading in and opened the door. She continued, walking right into the cold winter air.

I unfroze along with the others, following slowly, train style behind her. Of course, there had to be a god damned blizzard outside. Heat wasn't the problem- seeing was.

The cold air bit at my face making it go numb- or maybe that was just my nerves. Either way, my heart was racing double its usual time and I felt like my legs were about to give out. I slowed, walking alone, everyone in front of me.

Where was she going? More importantly, _how_ was she? My mind was on fire, despite the endless sheet of snow outside. I tried to run to catch up, but thought against it when my head started to throb. It would be best not to pass out now.

Surprisingly enough, no one said a word. Not one. They just followed without question- or rather, without voicing their questions.

And then she stopped.

It was quiet- quiet enough to hear their breaths. What were we doing here? Did she take us here for no reason? No. That wasn't it. It couldn't be.

Something about the air was wrong- a cold that when beyond temperature and into my bones themselves. My gaze darted around, looking for anything and everything that might help me out.

Almost as if on cue, he seemed to emerge from the air itself, beside him a shape that seemed vaguely familiar.

"It's been a while, hasn't it?" The voice didn't register into my ears, but like he was speaking into my mind. But not only mine, because everybody seemed to have a reaction.

"So it has, Laurent."

* * *

**MY LORD. SO SORRY. T^T. I PROMISE, I KNOW WHERE IT'S GOING NOW! I'LL WRITE ASAP! I LOVE YOU.  
**_That's right...  
_You. 


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